♥ A Sunday Morning view on things♥

 Hello everyone, I hope you all are doing well.

Today is actually one month since I checked into Essencia Hotel; it doesn't feel like a month. It feels more like I don't know two weeks, but I guess what they say about time flies when you're having fun is very accurate in my case.

I am having so much fun here, and my creativity is absolutely bursting, at least when it comes to writing; when it comes to photography, it's a whole different thing; I don't know what it is, but I just haven't felt the itch to be taking photographs really.

I hope you can understand my thought process. Not that my photographs have ever been planned out or anything, as most of you know, I take photos at the moment. Still, I haven't felt the itch to even do that apart from taking pictures for my blog posts. I have decided to be totally OK with that because I don't want to put any pressure upon myself when it comes to being in second life I want things to flow naturally. I do what comes to mind rather than stealing the stress of taking a photo because I haven't uploaded any photo onto my Flickr page for a week.

Many second-life people put enormous pressure on themselves once they have started to follow Flickr or their blogs are doing really well. I just haven't been that type of person ever, really. I have just been doing my own thing, naturally letting things flow. So be it if my blog does not get updated for a month. Instead, I put out something that really interests me, and they really want to talk about it rather than putting out a blog post if the blog post is the blog post just because that might be what my readers expect of me or what my viewers on Flickr expect from me.

It's not what other people expect from you that should really matter; what you bring "to the table" will lead you to have a more significant following when it comes to any social media.

People ask me, "how are you able to keep your blog so fluent and easy to the point where it doesn't feel like a chore to do a blog post?"

My answer and my view:

I started my first blog when I was around 12-13 years old, so having a blog has almost been second nature, so it was only fitting that I started the blog that I have now. As I have said before, this it's not just any blog about second life. This is a blog where two worlds become one.

My blog will never ever be a blog about the up-and-coming clothing within second life or the newest hair; those types of blogs just bored the hell out of me, to be honest. I mean, where's the fun in that?

You post a highly processed photo, then you copy and paste what you have on from your inventory in second life, and that's it.

I will do a few select numbers of sponsored blog posts, but the blog posts actually have interest me personally. It would be something that I could speak freely about without feeling that I'm lying to my readers because the sponsors of the blog posts want me to say this, this, and this because it looks good for their store or whatever

I can promise you that blog posts that are "forced" will burn you out quicker than you can say "fuck!" 

Once you have started "the burning out process," your blog will cause you to have high anxiety levels because you know we could have to do a certain number of posts that month for a certain number of stores. You will be putting out lower quality content than ever. Your blog will become dustier and dustier until it becomes a thing of the past because thinking about your blog causes you to have anxiety, so it's best to just leave it alone.

You now enter the "second life is not fun anymore stage."

Every day you come into second life with a mentally written schedule of what you must do today.

Stage photo.

Take a photo.

Highly processes that photo in Photoshop to make it Look nothing like second life.

Write a blog post.

Use the photo for the blog post.

Make sure to name the store 10 times in the post.

Monitor the post on social media.

Do a better post.

Do another photo.

Do another blog post.

Log off second life.

Of course, second life is boring as hell for you when all you have to do is this!

Your second life, blog, and social media are your space. Do whatever the fuck you want!

🌺Time to get ready🌺

 

Hello everyone!

I thought I would do this blog post while standing in my bathroom doing my makeup.

I was going to vlog for the first time today, but I just couldn't find a program that would work for me. If you are one of those high-tech people, please give me suggestions on what program I could use. I don't want it to be complicated. It has to be something I can use in a blink of an eye, so to speak.

I am really keen on this idea because this would give my blog another dimension.

*Looks around in my makeup bag*

please excuse the mess on my bathroom countertop. I haven't gotten around to putting stuff in the trash and whatnot.

My makeup bag is from Dust Bunny. I actually Borrowed the same exact makeup bag from my sister, I saw it when I was over at her house, and I just fell in love with it, so I borrowed it at first, And then I gave it back to her when I could buying my own.

So no, I didn't do the classical thing of asking her if I could borrow it for a little while then give it back to her two years later. That's a common thing among sisters in real life. Trust me, I know.

My real-life sister "borrowed" a pair of jeans from me. She said I would get them back over the weekend. Well, that was three years ago.

She did the same thing with my favorite hockey trunk. She "borrowed it" approximately 15 years ago. I still haven't seen it!

I guess that's how you know you have good taste and cool stuff.

*smiles to myself as I get close to the mirror to put on a bit of eyeshadow*

To be honest, I am not one of those girls that really pack on makeup. The most I would do is a little bit of eyeshadow, blush, and lipstick.

If I had my own makeup artist on speed dial in real life, I would probably wear makeup more.

I am still living at the beautiful Essencia hotel in second life. It is so lovely here. I just can't get enough of it.

Since checking in at the hotel almost a month ago, I have had to switch rooms do too…. how did this? There was a couple next door to me that just wouldn't shut up. They were not talking on voice because the voice is not activated here. But they were using sexual gestures that you couldn't mute, so I heard all kinds of noises just let your imagination fly.

Kira, who was on the staff that evening, really made the room transfer Smooth and somewhat enjoyable because she could hear the noises too when she got up to my room. She just stopped and said, "what in the world are they doing in there? on the other hand, I don't think I would want to know."

 *Looks in the Mirror while Contemplating putting on some eyeliner*

So that saying that hotel room walls are paper-thin? It's actually very accurate when it comes to this hotel is taking life, and I think it adds yet another dimension to the realism

*let's do some blush. finds the blush and brush "load the brush," tapping off the access before applying it to my cheeks.*

Thank you so much for all the love and support I received for my orgasm blog post.

It really warms my heart to see and know that so many people really enjoy my blog and are interested in my thoughts and what I write about.

I feel like I have to point something out:

when I started this blog, I fully intended it to be the way it is now.

Yes, this blog contains photos of me in my second life, but this blog is mainly about Both worlds being 1. This blog is not based on some Second Life fantasy of mine. This is my life, my thoughts, my feelings, my disability, my sex life, my orgasms. It has everything you can think of because I want it to be that way.

The Only part of my blog that is MOSTLY fantasy is my erotica.

*looks for a lipstick with the right shade*

I really need to sort this makeup bag out. It's a mess.

I think that makes my blog so unique. Two worlds become one. My blog is just not another" post my look blog so that second life companies can get a bunch of more money" blog.

This blog is for me and about me, nothing more, nothing less just me.

*puts on lipstick slowly, smacking my lips*

Right! There you have it!

♥My Size is Me!♥Proof that second life is so much more than "just a game."

 

Today I'm going to talk about body image and body positivity, so if you are in any way triggered by this topic, click away from this post now.

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I have touched on this topic a little bit before. In another blog post, I will link to you.

 blog post 

To say that second life is" just a game" is really a desperate attempt to not acknowledge the fact that second life is so much more than "just a game."

This is not World of Warcraft; this is not The Sims; this is not Grand Theft Auto.

Second life, well, the name speaks for itself, really, and I just wish that more people could realize how powerful second life is when I say powerful. I mean it positively, but second life can also be detrimental and powerful in a negative way, Mentally and physically.

People in second life are just as fixated on looks as they are in real life.

I can't tell you how often I have been told to change my look because this is a fantasy world, not real life. I have even been told that I should make a "fantasy version" of myself, so when people say the second life is just a game or a fantasy world, well, excuse my language, but they can just shove something hard up their ass.

Apart from my first maybe two years in second life have always Been plus size, I have a tough time "seeing myself" in second life. Any other was,y the few times that I've had made a shape for myself that is slimmer and taller, it has felt like I have been lying in a way because I don't see myself in that shape.

Being plus size for as long as I can remember in second life, I have also bumped into people and unleashed their unnecessary opinions about me and how short and "fat" I am.

"you are too short!"

"you are too wide."

"you are simply too fat. The animations well now look sexy enough!"

"Make yourself slimmer."

"make yourself more attractive."

Are you still telling yourself that second life is "just a game"?

People don't seem to realize how hurtful these types of comments can be.

when I get these types of words, my head immediately starts going into "OK, I need to fix myself."

and I find myself spending hours upon hours trying to make myself "look better" even though I know there is nothing there to "fix." YES! in second life!

Not too long ago, I came across this creator in second life when they talked about different bodies in their own group chat. This person proceeded to tell everybody that" I am very, very fat in my real life, so I enjoy being slim and second life.

First of all, WTF!?

Second, people in second life are so fixated on how a person should look. The people won't dare to make a version of themselves that they resemble!

It's not easy being plus size when you come across something like this

when you're just out shopping for clothing or whatnot. I literally had to ask my real-life husband to come over it makes sure I was not reading the ad wrong (click photo to enlarge)

It says, "Make sure you have a body to match the face with."

To me, it sounds like the creator is saying, "if you are fat, don't use my skins!"

That is just wrong on so many levels. It's crazy. I literally have no words, and let me clarify this is a huge, massive creator within second life. No, I'm not going to mention the brand name or the creator.

Are you still telling yourself that second life is" just a game?"

Why am I "so short" in second life?

I am 4.11 inches in real life?

Why am I plus size in second life?

I am 176.4lbs in real life.

I will not make a version of myself in second life that I can't "stand behind."

Of course, people can look the way they want to look, but I just think it's sad that more people choose to make" a better" version of themselves when there is no better version than what they are.

Seeing that ad made me realize that people are caving into pressure because of what other people tell them.

Seeing that ad made me go into "oh I need to fix" mode, so after spending hours and hours yet again trying to perfect something that doesn't need a perfecting. I just felt like I needed to write this post because people don't realize how one simple thing can throw another person off-balance, even in second life.

Are you still thinking that's second life is "just a game?" 

leave a comment let me know what you think about it.

🌺A very Early Morning!🌺

 *Drags my feet on the floor, walking over to my computer desk, yawning as I push the button to turn everything on, including my lamp*

Looks over at the clock in my real life...4:34 AM...*yawns*

*Runs my hand in my hair while I turn on the little coffee machine provided by the hotel*

 I take a bite of the wide selection of fruit Kira brought for me when I called down to the front desk and wanted "anything breakfast."

15 minutes later, she brings a cart with 2 trays with cut-up fruits, cheeses, bacon, eggs, and pancakes! She knows me so well!

I stretch out my back, And I start on my first blog post of the day.

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 Hi everyone hope you all are doing well?

It's really, really early in the morning, and I feel like I have to be quiet to not disturb people sleeping in the hotel even though it's anything less than peaceful during the nights.

I even had to have a room transfer because the couple next door to me wouldn't "calm down."

I heard all sorts of sounds; just let your imagination flow.

I know I keep saying this repeatedly, but there's just something about this place that makes me feel so creative and so at peace. It really feels like I have found "my place." I'm just thrilled with my life. At the moment, everything is going smoothly. There's no drama, no negativity. It's just so enjoyable and just so fun.

I think it has to do with the fact that I have sworn to myself not to surround myself with negative people, and I really stick by it Because there's no point in having people in your life that will drag you down no matter what you say or do.

I surround myself with people who will let me "queen around" and not be upset or offended by it.

*thinks*... hey, I think I just invented a new terminology!

*Taps the little bag of sugar with my finger and tiers it open. dumping it into my second cup of coffee as I smile*

*stands up, taking some goodies from the food cart before continuing to write*

So last weekend, my sister and I had a movie day, Normally you can actually watch movies on the TV in the hotel room, but the TV didn't have the film that we were going to watch, so I streamed it through both of us could see it.

I had never seen the movie Magic Mike before, which is odd now, looking back at it because I am hypersexual, and those movies are so sexy, especially Magic Mike XXL.

Two particular scenes in Magic Mike XXL really struck a chord with me. I don't want to say too much in case you haven't seen it, but there is this one woman that carries herself like nothing I've ever seen before. She just oozes confidence, and she really has the queen vibe. To say that the way she carries herself like nothing I've ever seen before is kind of a lie because I like to think that I carry myself that way. The way she carries herself is how every woman should carry herself.

My sister and I ended up having an intense discussion afterward, and it really boiled down to the fact that I'm so tired of seeing women and men not holding themselves up to the level they deserve.

My sister and I also decided that every Saturday or every other Saturday will be our movie day, so I am currently looking to see what movies I want to watch with her. One thing we both agree on is the fact that the movies have to be borderline X-rated. She gives suggestions also. Of course, 

Actually, that gave me an excellent idea; maybe I can have a segment on my blog where I borderline X-rated movie reviews; what do you guys think?

*stretches out again*

Ok, I think it's time for me to jump in the shower and get my day rolling!

See you soon.

♥Gathering thoughts this evening.♥

Hi everyone hope you all are doing well?

Yes, this post is coming to rather quickly after the significant post about orgasms, But I'm happy with how that post is doing, and I am sure that the traffic on that particular blog post will increase over time.

So that's why I feel it's OK to do another post so quickly after that one.

I am doing well, thank you for wondering:)

I am still staying at the spectacular Essencia hotel. I have been staying here for close to one month soon. I checked in here on the 27th of last month. I can't really see myself leaving anytime soon because, as I've said so many times before, this really is a place where I thrive in so many ways.

I can't really describe the type of atmosphere this hotel gives off in words. You really really have to experience it yourself.

For the past few days, I have struggled with gathering my thoughts correctly because there's so much I want to talk about, but I can't do it all in one post so 

I will start with something that has been really in the forefront of my mind this past week or so.

I had a very close friend here in second life at one point, we were extremely close, but as time got on, I realized that this person with actually jealous of me. This person was jealous of the life I have in second life, and it wouldn't surprise me if this person was jealous of my real life.

The situation got so weird that I just had enough one day, and I blocked and deleted this person from my life, basically.

What is scarier is that this person doesn't even realize that I caught them in a lie. It won't surprise me if this person is walking around sick life thinking they got away with it.

 This might sound crazy to you when you are reading this but what's important to understand is that there is a lot of drama and bullshit in second life. People within second life will literally do anything to destroy you.

Believe me, I've seen it first hand.

There are literally people that we'll break you piece by piece, little by little until there's nothing left of you.

All because they are jealous of how you carry yourself or how you represent yourself, how confident you are, how was successful you are,

 the fact that you can afford nice things within second life, jealous of the fact that you get attention from the opposite sex, so on and so on.

 

I literally think that this person wants my second life and my real life because this person wants to be me.

I talked to my real-life husband about this, and I'm not kidding you when I say the blood drained from my husband's face so quickly I didn't even have time to blink, and he just said

"I promised you I would never get into your second life things or try to say that you couldn't do certain things within second life, but I'm telling you now block this person as quickly as you can, on every social media you can."

This person did something so disgusting to me I won't even put it in my blog. I won't give them that satisfaction. I think making this blog post is satisfying enough for them.

I can't even fathom that there are people out there enjoying the fact that they can mentally and physically destroy somebody even through this virtual platform.

There are literally people who get off because they are hurting another person. They are enjoying the fact that they are above them.

I can't wrap my mind around that!

Not to mention the overwhelming number of women and men I have met through my years in second life with such low self-esteem that they don't even know their own self-worth!

Women nor men do not belong on the floor. They belong on Thrones!

Having the ability to just see "straight through people" Is often not a blessing but a curse.

I am a person who always will speak the truth and only the fact. That hurts people because 95% of people don't want to hear the truth or can't handle it.

I am currently enjoying some room service; while I'm writing this, what I ordered tonight was:

Curry risotto♥

My usual red wine ♥

and a very, very luscious chocolate cake.♥

*sighs Happily*

This reminds me I have to go and call the front desk before the staff goes home for the night to pick up my empty plate.

Thank you for reading if you have made it this far in the post.

I am sorry if I have offended anyone, but then again, I shouldn't be because we have freedom of speech!

 

 

♥ Orgasms - My way♥

 

This is a warning if you are uncomfortable with sexually explicit images or GIFS. I advise you to not read this post.

If you are uncomfortable seeing orgasms that look kind of violent, I advise you not to read this post.

If you are uncomfortable reading about sex or sexual acts, I advise you not to read this post.

You have been warned.

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So how are we doing today, men and women worldwide?

Get yourself buckled in because this is going to be a slippery one.

 Ever since I made the post about hypersexuality, I have gotten so many questions about orgasms, particularly mine, so I thought since it has been Valentine's Day and all, this would be the perfect opportunity for me to put in this juicy slippery post.

If you have read my post about hypersexuality, you will know that I officially got diagnosed in my early 20s. Still, I really do believe that I have been hypersexual ever since puberty hit. I became sexually active at a late age I was 19, I think. Even before then, I was drawn to the art of a sexual act between two people. I know that sounds very poetic, but I don't know how to describe it.

Being sexual has always been natural because I am a woman like the other women there. The only difference is that I'm not able-bodied. I have had this feeling of being desexualized all my life because I am disabled in my real life.

I still have my desires, And that's something that will never change.

Many people with disabilities will go through life without having one sexual experience because society has given them a label Before they were even young adults.

Specifically remember being the only person in my class in upper secondary school that was sexually active. My classmates Didn't have a clue about anything regarding sex. They didn't even know what virginity was. Because we were disabled, my school didn't think it was essential for us as human beings to have sexual education.

That blew my mind back then and still blows my mind today.

Knowing about sex and sexuality is a fundamental human right, and they took that away from us because we were using wheelchairs and other equipment to get around in life. They didn't see us as human beings, really. They saw the disability first.

I have always been very mature for my age, and back in upper secondary school, I felt I needed to be the lead voice for myself and others who didn't have the confidence or wouldn't dare to speak up. This led me to the principal's office more often than not.

I fought so hard regarding sexuality and sexual education because it was something that I felt so strongly about, and I couldn't understand why they would not let us have this.

I fought so hard that I was again sent to the principal's office because I was talking back to the teachers. My mom was called to my school 2-3 times a week because the school thought she was "misbehaving." 

My mom would always give them the "are you insane look" when they told her what was happening.

She told the principal in her colorful words to fuck off.

So you can imagine that being able to write about sex in the way I do is very important to me because I want to educate people. I want to encourage other people with disabilities to not shy away from sex.

I won't bore you with writing about every single sexual experience I have ever had but what I will do is leave a link to the most romantic, sensual sexual experience I have ever had.

♥The one I can't forget♥

that day and that evening taught me so much about myself, and he taught me so much about sex.

That evening was also when I had my first full-blown orgasm with someone inside me.

It would also be the first time my orgasm would put me on the edge of fainting. My orgasms are so intense that I am in limbo between consciousness and blacking out.

So that first time, I found myself screaming in absolute pleasure but also because I thought something was going horribly wrong.

I was losing control over my entire body. I was shaking so hard I couldn't even breathe. Meanwhile, I could hear him say close to my ear, "it's OK, it's OK, I'm here, hold on, hold on, ride it out!"

He didn't stop penetrating me during my orgasm; if he had, I would have screamed at him to keep going.

Again what you are about to see are GIFS of what an orgasm looks like. They can look violent in nature, so please stop reading if you don't want to see that.

I don't know why my orgasms are this strong. Still, I can vaguely remember reading somewhere that if you have a disability affecting how your body functions overall, the intensity of an orgasm is significantly intensified.

Don't quote me on that, though.

97% of the time, I don't black out completely. I am kind of on the edge of consciousness and fainting, as I've said

But it comes to a certain point where I have to ask whomever I'm with to stop because if I let them continue, the orgasm will become so strong that I will black out.

What happens every time I orgasm, though, is that I lose control of my body completely.

My body convulsions violently and extremely, most of the time. The convolutions stop me from breathing.

The clip above fits my orgasm to 100%

How does my Real-life husband or my second-life partners handle my orgasms?

My real-life husband grabs me really hard in whatever position that we are playing in; in that time, he moans and murmurs, "yes, yes, yes, go go go go for it! I'm here, I'm here, I have you." or something like that to keep me there with him.

He also is counting in his mind how long I don't take a breath, so he will tell me to breathe over and over until I scream my orgasm.

How do I tie this to second life?

Well, when I have sex with someone in second life, I voice if I can, that way, the other person can hear my orgasm and know why I would not be able to respond for a few minutes because of the convulsions that my body goes through

if I can't voice, I simply type out my orgasm and what is happening to my body 10 seconds before the orgasm starts to come on.

Then during my orgasm, I simply try to hit "send," which is NOT EASY.

How do people react?

Very positively, I must say.

My real-life husband tells me that every time I orgasm, it's like having a vibrating sex toy on his dick.

As for the sexual encounters in second life, they react with pure joy because even though we are not physically with each other, you have to understand that sex becomes stronger in a way.

How do they "help me" through my orgasm, and how do they calm me down?

When peaking in my orgasm, they grab me like my real-life husband does

talk, kiss, whisper, hold, and tell me to breathe. Yes, in text or voice.

People don't seem to grasp or don't want to grasp that second life can be so much more if you just let it be so much more.

With my orgasm's being so intense, there is even another aspect to it:

Squirting, Yes, I do Squirt :)

Squirting is the female form of the male's ejaculation. Well, I choose to call it that anyway.

"Squirting

• Fluid is believed to come from the bladder and is excreted by the urethra

• It can involve the release of a larger volume of fluid (up to 10 tablespoons)

• Clear, watery fluid

• Contains urea, creatinine, and uric acid, similar to dilute urine, sometimes with a small amount of prostatic-specific antigen (PSA)."

No, the Gif is over-exaggerated, and it's not water.

I have been known to make a mess multiple times. :)

What is the best with having orgasms like mine?

Well, I can NEVER fake them!

Have I ever faked an orgasm in Second Life?

No.

♥I have a "problem" with authority♥

 Hello everyone, it's Tessa here.

It's early in the morning, and I'm lying on my bed with a toothbrush in my mouth and an oversized T-shirt. I couldn't be bold there to do my whole makeup routine and stuff like that, so this is all the sexy you will see for now.

But we will talk about sexy you today, most importantly something that turns me on to 7th heaven every time I see a man in this.

As the title suggests, I have a little bit of a problem with authority, but I totally mean this In a good way!

I love men in uniform. I think it's so sexy and so masculine that it's just I can't almost describe it in words, but I'm going to try to, obviously.

That old cliche about how women love men in uniform will probably stick forever, but to say that I love many uniforms would be an understatement I am obsessed with it.

I want to be clear on something before I continue.

Unfortunately, I speak from experience. When I say, I am full to you aware that these jobs are very dangerous and should not be something you take lightly because your life can literally be turned upside down in seconds. That's how far I will go into that.

For me, there's just something about hearing your date or man put on his uniform, hearing the belt buckle of his work pants clink, hearing the Velcro of his vest Being strapped down, hearing the heaviness of this gunbelt being strapped to his waist. It makes me shiver just thinking about it.

He comes home in the middle of the night after a day of work, dressing down in sweatpants and a shirt from work.

I find that Extremely sexy.

How can I tie this into Second life? 

I have a friend in second life that works as a firefighter, as a first responder, even I think I'm not sure.

Most often than not, he will come over to my place in second life in full job gear, and *sighs* it just makes me melt.

Knowing that someone is working as Firefighter, cop, or is on a SWAT team in their real life is something that turns me on so bad as well.

My real-life husband jokingly refers to me as his little "badge Bunny."

Those who don't know what a badge Bunny is, it is a person, most likely a woman drawn to police badges.

Remember he said this jokingly!

I don't see myself as a badge Bunny because I love firefighters, cops, soldiers swat team members, so yeah, I don't think I qualify to be a badge Bunny.♥

One thing that has always fascinated me about these everyday heroes is that they tell us to run away from the danger, but they run towards it.

They always in forever will have a duty of protection.

Because they took an oath.

Valentine's Day dreams

 

Hi everyone!

Oh yes! I redid my blog again, and I'm so happy with it. It is so girly and so classy at the same time, which, as we all know, fits me perfectly, right? :)

I don't know if this blog post will be a blog post with a topic or just me having a diary moment. I will see what it feels like when I'm finished writing this.

I felt like going for a black and white photo today, but this is still a raw shot from second life because I used the black and white filter within second life and then did my typical border and my name.

So girls, Valentine's Day is just around the corner. I must say that my real-life husband and I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day because we believe that it doesn't have to be a special day for us to give each other gifts or anything else. Still, I love all the hearts, chocolates, roses, beautiful gift packaging, and everything like that. I am so girly when it comes to that. It's crazy.

However, I feel that Valentine's Day is more important when it comes to second life. I can't pinpoint why because I'm the type who will give gifts all year round to my friends and partners. Valentine's Day just feels different in second life.

I have been in second life for almost 12 years, but I have only gotten a bouquet of roses one time.

I'm not looking for pity! But yeah, one time.

I would love it one of my partners or even the total stranger would come knocking on my door and be like, "these are for you…" and they would be holding 3 bouquets of roses. I would totally die, I would probably cry first, but then I would probably die.

*sighs dreaming*

how do you feel about Valentine's Day?

♥Tessa♥

♥Bedroom Braindump♥

 

Hello everyone hope you all are doing well?

I am doing very well. I have had a few days to gather my thoughts around a few things, so I thought this would be an excellent time to make a blog post. As the title suggests, this will be brain dumb because I feel like I need it.

If this blog post ends up being all over the place, you know why.

I'm still staying at this beautiful hotel. I'm probably going to rent here as long as possible because this is the kind of environment I love!

* Braindump begins*

so a few days ago, I found myself reflecting a lot and lost in my own thoughts in a way I don't know whether it was because so many people were telling me that living in a hotel was kind of weird and that it was expensive, I, of course, defended this by saying well it's my second life. You are not paying the bills for it. Meanwhile, I was thinking, "what if they think I'm weird? what if I am driving people away because I live my second life so realistically?" I asked a friend of mine these questions just to have somebody to "throw a ball to" well, it didn't help that this person said, "to be honest with you, you are kinda weird." That made me sink even deeper into my thoughts, and my mood was beginning to decline.

 

When I started my second life back in 2010, being a dancer and escort was a massive thing, like how people describe second life to other people. Even I started as a dancer, and later, I became an escort for a short period.

how I described second life to other people back then was like this:

"second life is a virtual reality where millions of people connect with each other almost all of the girls in second life or dancers or escorts and every day they keep waiting for their own "Pretty Woman moment" meaning some rich guy comes and swoops them up, and they live happily ever after.

One day one of my friends, that has since left second life, showed me how to bring real-life money into second life, and ever since that day, I have never stepped foot into the world of dancers and escorts ever again.

It was not a bad experience. The thought has crossed my mind a couple of times to start again, but I feel like that time in my life was such a long time ago, and it would be so weird to go back.

When I danced, it was fun, don't get me wrong, but I was craving to do something else. I wanted to have a realistic second life, Not being known as a dancer or an escort because it's just not me.

 The way I live my second life today, almost 12 years after I first started, is absolutely how I would want my second life to be to a 1000% although I would love to not be dragged into a bunch of drama But let's face it, a world without drama in some shape or form does not exist.

I guess I tried to clear my thoughts. Yesterday I was in the gym running on a treadmill. I looked around and saw these two people in the hotel's hallway. They looked like they needed help, so I hopped off the treadmill, and that was up to them asking if they wanted help or not, which they wanted, and I was actually able to help them, so that made me feel excellent.

I went back to the gym, and they started running on the treadmill again when I got this IM from the woman which friend I just helped. Her IM but a smile on my face, we started to talk, I think we talked about five to six hours straight well she needed to go eat dinner so I just like 5 hours or something. We talked about everything you can possibly think of real life, second life, real life,  etc.

We pulled a prank kind of on her second life husband. It was so funny she and I were laughing so hard, and he was like if you can picture a Deer in the headlights because he had just woken up.

Ever since I can remember, I have had this ability to see straight through people if they are genuine or fake, if you know what I mean. Because of that, I find it hard to find friends because they always end up doing something fucked up, resulting in me not wanting to have them in my life.

I have always been the person who advocates having people around you that will lift you up and support you in whatever you want to do. There is no point in you settling for assholes.

 

I hold myself to a very, very high standard because I know what I want and what I deserve.

I wish more people dared to do the same in both worlds.

I mean, sure, there's a lot of people who will hate you because you are doing something they want to do but are too scared to do it. But they're also going to be a heck of a lot more people who will love you because you are genuine and authentic to yourself and others.

Go for the Kings and Queens!

Why go for anything Less?

♥Tessa♥

Lobby Writing

 Hey everyone hope you all are doing well.

So I have a little bit of an update for you on how I'm feeling and how things are going for me right now.

In my first hotel post, I talked about feeling bored, and I  needed something new and fresh to spark my interest and creativity.

I made the right choice of booking a room at this beautiful hotel because it almost feels like you are getting away even though you're staying home kinda, and I am sure I'm not the only one who feels this way at the moment.

I don't really know how many people actually read my blog, but I hope that helps you in some way for those who do.

My reason for starting this blog in the first place was to spread awareness about disability within second life and also, of course, right my erotica, which I was most known for, I think, until I released my wheelchair for everyday use in second life.

I am working hard with my creator to bring a powered wheelchair to second life for those who are quietly wondering. That is also why I choose to be able-bodied in second life using the manual wheelchair. Even though I love it, it's not really me until I get my powered wheelchair.

So this hotel stay has done so much for me mentally. I know that sounds strange, but yeah, I don't know how else to explain it, really.

I feel so much more energized and happy with my second life. It just feels joyful and fun.

So in the spirit of being in this uplifting mood, I finally decided to change my appearance in second life!!

Yes, you read that right I have changed my appearance. I used to be a very hardcore skin Switcher In second life, but then I found the skin that was absolutely perfect for me, and I couldn't bring myself to switch even though I bought new skins. When I was out shopping yesterday, I finally felt that it was time to just shed the old me And start fresh. Let me tell you, it was so freeing to do that! The skin that I had had a lot of memories connected to it, so that's why I used the word shed.

It was like I was a phoenix bird coming out of the ashes stronger than ever before.

So hi everybody, this is me from now on♥

My skin from Boataom

the mazing pink Parka! It's from Addams

available at the shop&hop It's the Valentine's addition. This is a must for every girl out there!

Price is ONLY 199 LINDENS

I feel so calm when I am here. Everything about this hotel is unbelievable. You need to experience it to understand what I mean. I have said that time and time again.

ESSENCIA

HOTEL

WebSite

ESSENCIA

HOTEL

Second Life LandMark

If you wonder if I'm sponsored or not, there is a straightforward way to find out. I will put sponsored in the post's title, so if it does not say sponsored that, it means well that I'm not, obviously.

There have been a few times well I have been sponsored, but 98% of the time, I'm not because I want my blog to be something I write under my free will, not because I have to.

I will try to type this post together now; we will see how that goes, shall we?

Second life was really quiet for me for some time. When I say it was dead for me, it really was; I'm not kidding. I mean dead quiet, nothing happening, nobody talking. It was like COVID had hit second life, and everybody was socially distancing.

But now I hope, and I think I am on the right track again, feeling refreshed and ready to see what happens next. As far as how long I am going to stay at this hotel, I really don't know, but right now, it feels like I'm going to stay here for a long time because I feel comfortable here, and it's an environment that I seem to thrive in because this hotel is all about realism. I am not the person that is going to pretend I am somebody else just because this is a virtual world platform. I've said this before. So everything I do in second life, including this blog, is everyday life to me. 

I don't have the line between second life and real-life they all blur together because no matter how hard you try to keep them separate, feelings and emotions will continuously crossover.

Until I see you again, stay you!

♥Tessa♥