♥Thank you!♥

 

Hello everyone, it's me, Tessa. I hope you all are doing well. I am getting more and more back to myself, which is lovely. I still have some hurdles to overcome and get past, but I am getting there.

Yesterday was my favorite time of year, which is Valentine's Day. Many of you know that my first-life husband and I don't go out of our way to celebrate anything except our wedding anniversary.

When showing love for one another, why does it need to be a specific day you go all out? Why can't it be every day?

 (I do say first-life husband because I don't see the difference between second life and what most people call real life. They are both real lives to me.)

Regarding Valentine's Day, for me, especially within Second Life, I love the colors, the romantic feel, the roses, the hearts, the teddy bears, and so on.

Even in my first life, my husband has told some friends, "My wife becomes like a little kid again when she sees all the roses and balloons, not to mention the teddy bears! When I saw her reaction to a teddy bear and roses, I knew she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."

Yes, the comment made me cry.

Something about Valentine's Day has me all giddy and dorky inside. Because creators within Second Life usually go all out with decorations and gifts, it becomes 110% more intense.

Because of what I have been through in Second Life these past couple of years, I didn't expect anything from anyone because I lost so many friends and play partners due to my choices back then. I had yet to have the expectations of getting anything from anyone.

So I started my day by getting the tiny love of my life out of her bed when she needed feeding and a diaper change. It was a very special day, except it was Valentine's Day, and my daughter turned two months old. Time flies by, and I want to hit the "slow motion button."

She is the one thing that keeps me going on the ground through dark times. Yes, I know she's not real, but I choose not to think or see it that way, and it's my choice.

When I breastfeed her, I tend to go into my deep thoughts by spending some quiet time with her. I reflect a lot during that time and got my thoughts in order.

Second life has changed a lot for me. I don't know if it's because of the things that I've been through or if the world is evolving, but it feels strange to me sometimes, and as I've said, I can't put my finger on why it feels odd to me I guess I was isolated for so long that I didn't think much of it until now.

I find myself thinking back to the time before all the shit went down, how outgoing, how's openly provocatively sexual I was, the play partners I had, how close I was to some of them, and so on.

As I was sitting there feeding my daughter, I decided to go into my inventory, and by accident, I clicked on the recent tab, and the received items folder was Showing. I thought, wait a minute, I haven't bought anything? I opened the folder, and a lingerie was set in there. I softly started to smile even though I was baffled, so I opened my e-mail because every time I buy something from the marketplace or receive something, I get an e-mail about it.

A very long-term partner of mine had bought me a gift with the words.

"Because you are sexy without even trying and deserve it!"

When I saw that, I became very emotional because he is probably the only person who knows the depth of what I've been through and what it has done to me physiologically and even physically.

I cried a little, and then I decided to try the lingerie on. I must admit it is not a color I would have picked for myself, but to my surprise, it looked good on me, showing how well he knows me.

At this time, he was not online, so I decided to show him a picture when he came online again instead of writing him a message.

Of course, I will show the picture here because some curious eyes are out there that do not necessarily have access to my Flickr account, so here you go.

I never thought I would get into taking pictures again, but it feels like I have been rolling out the pictures like a conveyor belt these past couple of days, so that's another sign that I am returning to myself again.

Among other things, I received flowers and even a vanilla chocolate Dick that had me beaming and laughing at the same time because I knew that this person would pick that from my wish list, if anything.

I am so eternally grateful for everyone who went out of their way to think of me and get me the gift. Having each of you in my life makes my day a little bit brighter.

There has been a request to take a picture of All the gifts I have gotten surrounding me. I am still determining how  I am going to do it, but the picture will be up in the near future.

I'm going to be a bit of a brat and say that if you want to get me something, you can find my wish list on the right side of the page, and I will also link it here.

until next time ♥ /Tessa