129 Days

That's how long it's been since I walked out the front door and never looked back. The first 30 days were the hardest for me, and after the 60-day mark, I barely gave him a second thought. That's why I haven't updated it. I'm over the worst hurdle, if that makes sense.

I have enjoyed myself quite a lot and being alone in my own space; if somebody had told me that about six months ago, I would have told them, “I will never be that kind of person who is OK with being alone.”

Looking back on what I have been through, being on my own is a fucking breath of fresh air.

In an attempt to regain some of the confidence that he chipped away at, I have been dressing up in outfits that I know he wouldn't approve of and going to places with many people. I stand around and take in the compliments I get on my body shape and look.

I call it “body exposure.” I don't know if that's an accurate term, but when I tell people that's what I'm doing, they seem to understand.

It has helped me to bloom again and not be so locked in my head hearing his voice telling me I shouldn't do this or I shouldn't do that.

I have enjoyed meeting some interesting people and some not-so-interesting and enjoyable people. Those people have found my front door quickly because I am completely and utterly done with wasting my time with people that are complete bullshit.

It still amazes me to this day how people can genuinely not understand that I see straight through people; it's like when a person tries to tell me a lie that is so crystal clear it's a lie they don't even understand that I see it or they think that they have just “fooled  me."

Only to realize I was one step ahead of them when they tried to talk themselves out of the lie.

I find it somewhat amusing.

How is how is motherhood?

It is terrific that my daughter turns 13 months old tomorrow!

The time has flown by so fast that I'm actually thinking about getting pregnant again, but I haven't really decided on that fully.

I have met someone who makes me feel special and loved. We are both Polyamorous, so we understand each other from the start.

One thing that I promised myself when I got out of that relationship I was in was that I was going to make it painstakingly apparent to people that I Am polyamorous so that it could not be mistaken.

My profile is perhaps a little bit too blunt, but I would rather be too blunt than have misunderstandings from people who don't read no at all.

That is it for my 129-day update.

I hope every one of you is doing well and they mean your life to its full potential

take care of yourselves, and I will talk to you later/

Tessa