151 days

 Hello everyone!

Jesus, Lord, have mercy! What a complete shitshow! My second life has been since the last time we spoke. It's embarrassing, to be honest, because I should have known better. Let's say that The people should have known that the truth always comes back to me.

I'm not just saying that to tooth my own horn, but it does, and it has never been wrong.

I don't want to get into anyone because, as I said, it is embarrassing.

I don't know what's going on with Second Life at the moment. Every person I try to meet and interact with is shadier than the person I try to meet.

As I have stated before, ever since Second Life launched its PBR, making it very difficult, if not impossible, for a large number of people to be in Second Life, those people have been replaced by total stupidity.

I am the type of person they've always tries to see good people until there is no shadow of a doubt that the person does not have good intentions, And usually, I can see that pretty quickly.

So that has caused me to feel very alone in a world full of people.

Yesterday, I was trying to deal with my feelings. Let's say I looked up somebody's profile, and what I saw floored me, not with sadness or anything but more total rage because of everything I had to go through with this person, even to love them and be with them.

 They are now doing the opposite of what they did when I was with them.

I had to fight to get a picture with them in it, and now they have pictures. This person has told me, “I'm a very private person,” for years, and as I said, I couldn't even get one picture with them without a huge fight.

I was so angry that, against my better judgment, I sent them a message. Yes, I broke the no-contact rule for one minute or less, but I'm not going to start over from scratch because, in my eyes, it was only for one minute, not the entire conversation. That could be wrong, but that's how I choose to look at it. I instantly regretted sending the message because I knew it was exactly what this person wanted from me. They want a reaction.

I'm pissed off At myself, but I also know that they are now wondering a few things.

Of course, I hope Second Life will turn around and be positive for me again. If not, I'll just have to make my connections in a world called reality.

Of course, my second life is not always utterly doomed, even though I'm currently making it seem like it is.

My favorite holiday season is upon us: Valentine's Day. Balloons, roses, and teddy bears slowly appear in Reds, pinks, and whites. It is just so magical!

I love it!

Of course, I have updated my marketplace wish list, so if you want to get me something, please feel free to do so.

Please be kind to each other and take care of yourself!

/Tessa

129 Days

That's how long it's been since I walked out the front door and never looked back. The first 30 days were the hardest for me, and after the 60-day mark, I barely gave him a second thought. That's why I haven't updated it. I'm over the worst hurdle, if that makes sense.

I have enjoyed myself quite a lot and being alone in my own space; if somebody had told me that about six months ago, I would have told them, “I will never be that kind of person who is OK with being alone.”

Looking back on what I have been through, being on my own is a fucking breath of fresh air.

In an attempt to regain some of the confidence that he chipped away at, I have been dressing up in outfits that I know he wouldn't approve of and going to places with many people. I stand around and take in the compliments I get on my body shape and look.

I call it “body exposure.” I don't know if that's an accurate term, but when I tell people that's what I'm doing, they seem to understand.

It has helped me to bloom again and not be so locked in my head hearing his voice telling me I shouldn't do this or I shouldn't do that.

I have enjoyed meeting some interesting people and some not-so-interesting and enjoyable people. Those people have found my front door quickly because I am completely and utterly done with wasting my time with people that are complete bullshit.

It still amazes me to this day how people can genuinely not understand that I see straight through people; it's like when a person tries to tell me a lie that is so crystal clear it's a lie they don't even understand that I see it or they think that they have just “fooled  me."

Only to realize I was one step ahead of them when they tried to talk themselves out of the lie.

I find it somewhat amusing.

How is how is motherhood?

It is terrific that my daughter turns 13 months old tomorrow!

The time has flown by so fast that I'm actually thinking about getting pregnant again, but I haven't really decided on that fully.

I have met someone who makes me feel special and loved. We are both Polyamorous, so we understand each other from the start.

One thing that I promised myself when I got out of that relationship I was in was that I was going to make it painstakingly apparent to people that I Am polyamorous so that it could not be mistaken.

My profile is perhaps a little bit too blunt, but I would rather be too blunt than have misunderstandings from people who don't read no at all.

That is it for my 129-day update.

I hope every one of you is doing well and they mean your life to its full potential

take care of yourselves, and I will talk to you later/

Tessa