To Love and be loved.

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/tessa

Midnight whispers.

 

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💔What the Hell happened?💔

 

That's the question I would like to have answered, trust me.

 I have only my gut feeling; otherwise, I have no clue.

Everything was so wonderful, perfect, romantic, and loving, but that all changed in the blink of an eye.

When I went to pick up my second life husband from the bus station, I was so giddy and nervous, I couldn't wait to see him.

In the back of my mind, I had a lingering feeling that something was going to go wrong; I didn't know what or when, but I just had a sinking feeling.

I decided not to think about it too much.

He held my hand the entire car ride home and told me he loved me.

When we got home, my real-life husband and I walked around the neighborhood while my real-life husband cleaned up the last few things in our house.

My second-life husband and I went to the water and shared our first kiss.

The butterflies in my stomach were so strong, I didn't know what to do with myself.

It was very romantic.

I returned home and don't know if it was the shock of the actual size of my house or something else, but I could feel that something had just shifted.

I had to prepare him because I don't live in a vast house; it's relatively small. My home would be like a one-bedroom apartment if you compare the sizes.

We kissed a lot, and we both enjoyed each other's company, finally

I won't go into much more detail than that.

We sat in front of my computer when, suddenly, my second-life husband told me that he did not feel comfortable with the fact that my real-life husband was meters away from us, sleeping, and that it felt like my real-life husband had set this up somehow. He used a sexual term for it.

I just sat there in shock, unsure of what to say or do, except to tell him that this was not the case.

When he said that, I wanted to say,” Well, if you think that way about our relationship already, then this is over.”

 I didn't say it, I just sat there quietly. I almost started to cry when he asked me if I was OK I nodded, but that wasn't OK I was far from OK.

We kissed again, and I tried to put what was said back in my mind, thinking that maybe he was just nervous.

When I woke up the next day, my real-life husband had gone to the big house to have coffee, so my second-life husband and I were alone. I quietly woke him up, asking if he wanted to cuddle with me in bed. I was not prepared for the answer he gave me.

He said he was sleeping and just rolled over to his bed.

 

I have never felt more unattractive in that moment, I felt like I was the ugliest woman in the entire world! I felt like I was a woman who had a deadly disease. I can't explain the feeling other than to say that I felt extremely unattractive.

I started to silently cry because I knew in that moment that he most likely was never going to come back.

I even texted my real-life husband that I was kind of sad because I don't think my second-life husband is coming back after this.

After a little while, my second life husband called out of bed and went to the bathroom. Once again, he asked him to come and lie down on the bed with me, but he didn't do that again.

 

I took my phone and texted my second-life husband on Discord, asking if everything was OK between us.

He said yes, they are. I knew he was lying to me; I could feel it with every bone in my body. I wanted to cry most of that day, to be honest, but I didn't. I wanted to cry because everything was so different between us.

 

That Saturday evening all my fears and the feelings of rejection was confirmed because he didn't even want me to touch him in that way anymore, he gave me some Bull shit excuse that he was not feeling well.

I still wanted to hold out hope, but everything in my body said he was not returning.

On the Sunday when I left him at the bus station, he said, “I will see you in May, maybe.”

In my head, I was going,” Why would you say that when you told me that you want this to continue and you want this to keep going? Why would you say maybe?”

When my second life husband got on the bus I broke down sobbing I was sobbing so hard that I couldn't even get the words out to my real life husband At first but after a little while I was able to say to him” he's not coming back, he's not coming back I know it”

 

My real-life husband, of course, tried to console me and talk to me about things that I was feeling.

 

The ghosting started slowly.

With him not responding to me for a few hours, which was very unusual because we had this relationship where we spoke to each other almost on a minute-by-minute basis when we could

I didn't think much of it.

Then he started talking to me differently, typing to me differently, not being as affectionate or attentive as he used to be.

I would type to him on Discord, but he would not respond for six or seven hours.

SIX OR SEVEN HOURS, People!

On April 17, 2025, he sent me a message saying that he was working and was stressed. That's the last message that I ever got from him.

 

I told my real-life husband what my now ex-second-life husband had implied when he was here.

My real-life husband responded with “So what does he think that polyamorous is all about?"

“It's about having full-blown relationships with other people without hesitation or holding back.”

My real-life husband is furious that my now ex-second-life husband even came up with that idea.

 

He also said, “Now I know what he's doing, he's ghosting you because he can't be man enough to tell you that this was not something he was comfortable with.”

“I am furious  because he told you things that you took straight to your heart, and now he's just stomping on it like you never existed in the first place.”

I've tried calling him, I've been attempting to text him,  I've wanted to talk to him on Discord, and I've tried everything in my power to get any sign of life from him. I even texted his mother, but I still haven't received a response.

My real-life husband even said,” I've heard about ghosting before, but this level of ghosting? Like dropping from the face of the earth kind of ghosting? I have never seen or experienced in my entire life.”

Today, April 23, 2025, I sent him the very last text message.

I removed him from my apartment in Second Life, removed him from my rental boat in Second Life, removed him as my partner in Second Life, removed him from my friends list in Second Life, and removed him from my Discord.

I took him off everything.

I have never felt so empty as a woman, and I have never felt so unattractive as a woman.

If I could only tell you word for word what this man has told me, what he felt for me, what he wanted to do, everything, I'm 

We Found Love in a hopeless place.

 Hello everybody, long time no see, I know, but boy, I have the update for you!

So the last time I did an update, it was in a very sluggish and dull place, and to be honest with you, I was on my way out the door when it came to second life because I felt that no matter what I did or said to anyone they couldn't understand me and my feelings. I was going through the very thick of it when it came to trying to deal with leaving the abusive second-life relationship I had been in.

But life threw me a lifeline when I needed it the most.

One day, I was lying on a beach and enjoying life in my very sexy Swedish bikini. I received a few IMs, mostly from men who did not interest me at all, so I looked at the messages and closed them immediately.

But then there was one man who caught my eye because he used his brain when talking to me, which is a rare occurrence for a second life.

He asked me a little bit about nymphomania and how it presented itself to me. I smiled when I saw his message because it was an honest question.

What blew my mind was the fact that he is also from Sweden! I was smiling from ear to ear, and I hoped that he wouldn't say something that would immediately turn me off towards him.

We started talking, and we laughed a lot, and for the first time in years, I felt like I actually “saw me.”

The conversation continued, and I realized I was falling hard and fast for this man. Of course, I was afraid because I had been through hell the past three years in my second life, but I have never held back my feelings just because I was scared or anything like that.

Mostly, I was afraid because it had always been a one-sided situation regarding second life. I would be in love with the person, but the person was not in love with me.

 

We talked, and I invited him over to my towel that I was lying on. As we continued to talk about anything and everything, we eventually made love on that beach. It was so intense that I think both of us had trouble typing, and I had shaky hands.

When I tell you this man is romantic? This man is the epitome of that word.

He loves everything about me and is unafraid to say or show it.

He wants me to be all over him; he wants me to be clingy. He wants me to be needy. He wants me to show everything I have because he loves it, and I love everything about him, every single millimeter of his human being I am devoted to.

 

That night when we first met? Oh my God! I have never felt attraction like that in my life.

It was unbelievable, and I now understand what people mean when they say “divine timing” because he is everything I have ever asked for and more.

It didn't take long before he gave me the happiest shock of a lifetime.

We were lying in bed one night, and he carefully said, “So, have you ever been married in your second life?”

I explained to him that I had been married, but I never considered that a marriage because the person was never in a second life after that.

Slowly and carefully, he asked me to marry him. I was in complete shock; I didn't know what to say. I just stared at him with the most enormous eyes I could ever make before telling him with a lump of tears in my throat to not joke with me.

He looked into my eyes and said I promise I'm not joking with you. I swear I'm not.”

I lost it,  I started bawling my eyes out, and I began to realize he was not joking. With tears in my eyes rolling down my face, I slowly started to nod yes.

He grabbed my face and kissed me in a way I had never been before, and he still does.

From that moment, I decided I only wanted him, no one else. I was done looking; I had found my other half.

The day after his proposal, we started talking about meeting each other in real life, and that is precisely what we will do about two weeks from now.

This man is everything I've ever wanted, and it's like he had been tailored for me.

We have that kind of love that you can't explain in words. You can feel it; you can almost touch it in our presence. Before I met him, I was so used to people wanting me when it was convenient for them, but this man is truly amazing. He ensures that our connection is taken care of daily by writing to me, even if it is just two seconds when he is busy. Of course, I do the same for him.

 We can't be apart for more than a few hours, but we still stay in constant contact to show each other that we love one another.

There is no saying hello, and then you have to wait six hours for the other person to realize they should respond.

Our love connection is the most important for both of us.

On the 7th of March 2025, we said yes to each other in a very quick and casual ceremony at the Yosemite sim. Here is the LM

We both wanted to get married as soon as possible, we might have something more extravagant as a wedding in the future.

We also didn't waste any time trying to conceive. As I write this, I am eight weeks pregnant with our first child; yes, we both know we want more.

Why did this happen so quickly? Is my weight on something so obvious that it's meant to be? Why wait on anything just because society and others might have an opinion? Other people's views do not have any bearing whatsoever on your relationship with the person.

Ever since we met, we have taken so many pictures together, putting them up on our primfeed for the world to see primfeed it's about 98% sexual content now, but we do have some pictures that are just cute and fun because we both want to show off each other to the world.

OUR PRIMFEED

*Sighs* god, the way this man makes me feel!

I really can't wait to live the rest of my life with him♥

/Tessa

151 days

 Hello everyone!

Jesus, Lord, have mercy! What a complete shitshow! My second life has been since the last time we spoke. It's embarrassing, to be honest, because I should have known better. Let's say that The people should have known that the truth always comes back to me.

I'm not just saying that to tooth my own horn, but it does, and it has never been wrong.

I don't want to get into anyone because, as I said, it is embarrassing.

I don't know what's going on with Second Life at the moment. Every person I try to meet and interact with is shadier than the person I try to meet.

As I have stated before, ever since Second Life launched its PBR, making it very difficult, if not impossible, for a large number of people to be in Second Life, those people have been replaced by total stupidity.

I am the type of person they've always tries to see good people until there is no shadow of a doubt that the person does not have good intentions, And usually, I can see that pretty quickly.

So that has caused me to feel very alone in a world full of people.

Yesterday, I was trying to deal with my feelings. Let's say I looked up somebody's profile, and what I saw floored me, not with sadness or anything but more total rage because of everything I had to go through with this person, even to love them and be with them.

 They are now doing the opposite of what they did when I was with them.

I had to fight to get a picture with them in it, and now they have pictures. This person has told me, “I'm a very private person,” for years, and as I said, I couldn't even get one picture with them without a huge fight.

I was so angry that, against my better judgment, I sent them a message. Yes, I broke the no-contact rule for one minute or less, but I'm not going to start over from scratch because, in my eyes, it was only for one minute, not the entire conversation. That could be wrong, but that's how I choose to look at it. I instantly regretted sending the message because I knew it was exactly what this person wanted from me. They want a reaction.

I'm pissed off At myself, but I also know that they are now wondering a few things.

Of course, I hope Second Life will turn around and be positive for me again. If not, I'll just have to make my connections in a world called reality.

Of course, my second life is not always utterly doomed, even though I'm currently making it seem like it is.

My favorite holiday season is upon us: Valentine's Day. Balloons, roses, and teddy bears slowly appear in Reds, pinks, and whites. It is just so magical!

I love it!

Of course, I have updated my marketplace wish list, so if you want to get me something, please feel free to do so.

Please be kind to each other and take care of yourself!

/Tessa

129 Days

That's how long it's been since I walked out the front door and never looked back. The first 30 days were the hardest for me, and after the 60-day mark, I barely gave him a second thought. That's why I haven't updated it. I'm over the worst hurdle, if that makes sense.

I have enjoyed myself quite a lot and being alone in my own space; if somebody had told me that about six months ago, I would have told them, “I will never be that kind of person who is OK with being alone.”

Looking back on what I have been through, being on my own is a fucking breath of fresh air.

In an attempt to regain some of the confidence that he chipped away at, I have been dressing up in outfits that I know he wouldn't approve of and going to places with many people. I stand around and take in the compliments I get on my body shape and look.

I call it “body exposure.” I don't know if that's an accurate term, but when I tell people that's what I'm doing, they seem to understand.

It has helped me to bloom again and not be so locked in my head hearing his voice telling me I shouldn't do this or I shouldn't do that.

I have enjoyed meeting some interesting people and some not-so-interesting and enjoyable people. Those people have found my front door quickly because I am completely and utterly done with wasting my time with people that are complete bullshit.

It still amazes me to this day how people can genuinely not understand that I see straight through people; it's like when a person tries to tell me a lie that is so crystal clear it's a lie they don't even understand that I see it or they think that they have just “fooled  me."

Only to realize I was one step ahead of them when they tried to talk themselves out of the lie.

I find it somewhat amusing.

How is how is motherhood?

It is terrific that my daughter turns 13 months old tomorrow!

The time has flown by so fast that I'm actually thinking about getting pregnant again, but I haven't really decided on that fully.

I have met someone who makes me feel special and loved. We are both Polyamorous, so we understand each other from the start.

One thing that I promised myself when I got out of that relationship I was in was that I was going to make it painstakingly apparent to people that I Am polyamorous so that it could not be mistaken.

My profile is perhaps a little bit too blunt, but I would rather be too blunt than have misunderstandings from people who don't read no at all.

That is it for my 129-day update.

I hope every one of you is doing well and they mean your life to its full potential

take care of yourselves, and I will talk to you later/

Tessa