My Christmas is Fucking SAVED and im going to SLAY *Sponsored by Beautiful Dirty Rich*

 Hello, everyone. This post has run a little bit behind, and I'm sorry for that.

The creator behind Beautiful Dirty Rich has done it yet again!

The brand Beautiful Dirty Rich was one of the first brands I ever bought clothing from when I came to Second Life, and over the years, she has just gotten better and better and better; that's why I keep going back to her and her brand because not only do you get so much bang for your buck but the quality of the clothing is phenomenal.

No, I am not getting compensated to say what I am saying to you. This is my genuine and honest opinion, and that's how it's always going to be when I get sponsored by somebody.

When I saw this outfit, I just knew I had to have it because it screams Christmas to me; it screams.

"Last Christmas I gave you my heart" feeling.

Ladies and gentlemen (the gentlemen are hopefully going to buy this for their ladies)

I give you the *B.D.R.* Nevada -Lounge Set-

(BOOTS DO NOT INCLUDE)

Do I have to say anything else?

You get 12 solid

and 20 Nordic colors with your purchase, totaling 32 different textures. Let me say that again: 32 different textures!

This was my go-to outfit after giving birth in second life, and that says a lot for me.

Here is a peek at the HUD and the textures. On the HUD photo, you will be able to see all the different sizes that she supports

This fabulous outfit is currently available at the Frost-E Fest, which runs until the 31st of December, 2023; after the event, the outfit will be moved to the beautiful, dirty, rich main store.

Thanks again to the creator behind Beautiful Dirty Rich. You never disappoint, and you keep getting better and better. Please keep doing what you are doing. My second-life wardrobe would not be the same without you.

♥/ Tessa

who knew?

 

Hello everyone, it's Tessa here.

I hope you all are doing well. I am doing fantastic, thank you.

I wanted to come here and do a quick brain dump to get my thoughts in order and talk about this little cutie you see here.

As always, I don't know where to start when it comes to a brain-dumping post, but I will try my best to start somewhere.

So, my daughter was born on the 14th of December, 2023, after 14 long hours of Labor. No, that is not a number; I'm just making up. I was in Labor for 14 hours but with some sleep in between. It has been my absolute joy since she came into the world.

To be able to be a mother in second life is something very, very deep for me. It's beyond anything I could ever have imagined feeling. I know that she's not real, but the feelings I have is something I can't even begin to describe to people. I don't expect everyone in Second Life to share my thoughts and opinions and see Second Life the way I see it. Still, the reason I started this whole blog, to begin with, was to be unique and authentic and show people that it's OK to get emotionally and sometimes physically invested in someone or something. Yes, I have been pregnant before in second life, but it had been a long, long time since I was able to go almost full term and have a baby to hold in my arms in the end.

Like I said, I know she's not real, but this is as close as I am ever going to experience what it's like to be a mother, so for me, she's real.

Every time she wakes up for a feeding or a diaper change, or when she wants her mommy, it's not a chore for me. It's an honor and something I take very, very seriously. I have chosen to surround myself with people who understand me and understand why I see second life realistically. Every time I get to do something for my daughter, it's an honor because I know I can't do this without second life.

Every morning, I wake up to her sounds. Are you going to her room? I talk to my daughter because, as I said, this is real to me, and everyone around me knows this.

Sure, there have been times in my second life when I felt like I was the odd man out because I was realizing in one way or another that I was seeing things very differently from how others were seeing it. And in the end, I have backed off or changed my opinion to not feel like the odd man out. Still, I can help the police report that that won't be happening ever again. This is me. This is how I do it; if you don't like it or you think I'm weird for doing it a certain way, I don't need you in my life if there's one thing I have learned through my pregnancy and also through something that has happened to me in second life not too long ago is that you have to surround yourself with people that will bring you the fuck up. Not bring you the fuck down.

 

As I was in Labor, I had a lot of time to reflect and feel my emotions with each passing moment; I could feel myself going back to being my core self again; my mind was very clear and calm, and I felt like saying to the world, "if you don't understand me as a person that's OK if you don't know how I see things that's OK if you don't understand me and where I come from that's OK too but I don't need you in my life."

Why would I have people in my life who're just going to turn around and stab me in the back? And to be honest with you, it's not the backstabbing that hurts. It's when you turn around and see the person holding the knife.

So settling for second best or second place or second place anything is now over, and that goes for every single aspect of my second life And real life for that matter, but in real life, I have never settled for second best anyway.

Every time I look into my daughter's eyes, I get reminded that no matter how much shit people try to throw at me, how much shit people try to drag me through, no matter how many packs of stabbings I get, I always have to stand the fuck up and move on.

Who knew that such a little thing, such a beautiful girl, could bring me back the peace and confidence I needed?

Who knew that my daughter would become the most important thing I have ever done and ever will do in second life?

Most people reading this blog post won't or can't relate to my topic. Still, when I tell you that this experience has changed my life, I really mean it, and I genuinely hope that a few people out there can relate to this blog post and see it from my eyes.

It's true what they say once you become a parent, it truly changes you for the better, no matter what you have been through.

/Tessa

Motherhood so far.

 Hello everyone. I am exhausted but delighted and content Tessa here.

The Blackwood household had a very early start to our morning with a baby girl waking up around three times a night so far; I know I shouldn't complain because I know that there are babies out there that refuse to sleep all through the night, so I am very appreciative that my baby girl only wakes up three times a night so far.

I am still trying to get to know my daughter. I know that sounds strange because I had her in my tummy for around eight months. But what I have learned so far is that from the day she was born, I had to get to know her all over again and listen to her sounds and realize that not every time that she makes a sound or cries is a time when she desperately needs me sometimes she babbles away being very content, so I have to tell my mother instinct that "she is fine just give it a few moments before rushing over there."

I woke up to her making lovely sounds on my baby monitor. Still, soon after the sweet sounds, she started to cry, which is a beautiful sound by itself, so I got up. I fixed my hair before entering her bedroom, told her good morning, picked her up, and walked around before settling into my breastfeeding chair. I usually breastfeed her for about 1 1/2 hours each time she needs to feed. During that time, I felt the closest to my daughter; I stroked her face and whispered, making her feel calm.

After I breastfeed her, I change her diaper, and with a hot, soapy washcloth, I make sure to gently wipe her face because if she is going to turn out anything like me, I know for a fact that she does not like Her eyes being a little bit clogged with what I call tired ice.

After I changed her diaper and wiped her face, it was time for a quick bath. I discovered that my daughter does not like water, which is not precisely body temperature. I don't know if that's a newborn thing or just her thing, but yeah.

After we both got ready for the day, I decided to take her out for the first time. Boy, was that an experience. People didn't say anything to me straight out, but we could feel them looking and smiling, and of course, some people were annoyed by the fact that there was a crying baby in a store.

I tried to finish my shopping as quickly as possible because she was not settling down and being happy in her car seat, so I had to do the "new Mama sprint" all over. When we got home, I quickly got her out of the car seat and changed her into a onesie And socks, which seemed to be the outfit she was most comfortable in now.

I took her downstairs and put her in her mamaroo in front of our TV to see how She would react. At first, she had this look on her face like, "Ummm. Mommy, what is this thing?" Of course, I just smiled and strapped her in. As soon as I turned on the mobile above her head, she became very content and relaxed, which pleased me because I could have some time to myself but still be with her.

While I was out on the town, a package arrived. Yeah, I looked in my inventory, and one of my friends, whom I have known for years and years and years, bought me a breast pump. Yes, there is such a thing in second life. I jumped for joy because about 24 hours earlier, I had contemplated buying it myself but held off on it.

When my daughter was happy and content with her Mamaroo, I decided to turn on the TV and watch the cartooned motion of Beauty and the Beast to see how my daughter would react to sounds and music.

Just before I turned on the TV, she was a little fussy trying to find her place even though she was content, but as soon as I turned on the TV, she calmed right down and just started to hang out.

I decided to be on the sofa and pump my breast milk even though I breastfeed her, I just wanted to know what it felt like, and I know for a fact that my breasts produce a lot of milk, so I thought to myself, it can't hurt to pump out a little to give my breasts a little bit of the break.

So my daughter and I happily watched Beauty and the Beast, hanging out and enjoying our time together, being very peaceful.

I don't know if this is realistic, but I did pump my left breast for about an hour and then my right breast for about an hour.

This breast pump is fantastic because it has realistic sound and everything, and I love it when something is interactive and has natural sounds.

There's one thing I do with this breast pump; as far as sizing goes, I don't think it's very realistic, so I would rather have it a bit smaller than what it is, but it's a beautiful product nonetheless.

As the movie ended, I was amazed that she was still awake. I left the movie running because it had a beautiful song at the end; when the music was over, I looked over, and she had fallen asleep calmly. Every time I look at her, I still can't believe that I was a part of growing her, and now that she's here, I can't take my eyes off her.

 

As of right now, she is still sleeping. That's why I can take this little time to myself and blog. Motherhood in Second Life is one of the most rewarding and uplifting experiences I have had in second. Life, if you haven't entirely understood it yet, I will repeat it: second life is not about role play for me; it's not a game to me; it's a virtual reality, so everything I do is taking life it's real to me it's not just play however I do respect people that do you see this as a game or a role-playing thing but for me it will never be a game or a role-playing thing.

/Tessa

And Just like that, it was "Go time" My Labor and Delivery.

 I woke up on the 13th of December, 2023, and felt something was slightly different, but I could not put my finger on it. So I went on about my day. If you have been following me, you know that I have been going through a little bit of a rough time lately with my second life, and I have been feeling; it's not often that I use the word depressed, but this time, I think I'm going to have to. I have been feeling depressed over everything that has been going on, and all the drama surrounding it made me think about whether the right should stay in second life or not. I thought I had made up my mind a few days ago, but then something positive happened, and I felt like I could move on because everybody was telling me I made the right decision. I made the right call for myself. But still, there has been this feeling of trying to find my footing again, but it seemed that I couldn't.

I had no motivation, and I was not looking forward to anything, which is not like me at all before all of this; I used to be able to move on and not think about it, but I think this time because it had been going on for so many years in second life. Then, when I finally got out of that situation, it was like the old me was gone.

Then a few weeks after that, another shit storm in second life when down the course, I was caught in the middle of it. I fell head over heels for somebody I shouldn't have. All of them thought they were playing me for a fool when, in actuality, I saw right through it because that's part of my gift. I can get into that another time, but I wanted to give you all a little information as to why things went down the way they have.

As I said, I went shopping occasionally, trying to get my mind off things.

It had been on my mind for a few days that I maybe could make a post on my Flickr saying that I was looking for a birthing partner because I didn't want to go through labor and delivery by myself.

But my mind kept returning to this one person who had been on my mind for months regarding labor and delivery and how I wanted it to be. I knew that he was the one person who could pull this off with me and take it deadly seriously without even having to blink.

I had been going back and forth, trying to muster up the courage to ask him to be there with me.

I finally wrote him a message, and then the waiting game started.

I didn't think he would respond to me, but then, on the third day, he did respond; his response was more than I could ever have hoped for. I thought it would be this awkward discussion and everything like that, but when we started talking, he never left.

From the get-go, he was attentive, even when talking about stuff other than the labor part; he was right there.

So we talked, and we talked then, around midnight second lifetime, I started to feel this pain in my lower back. It was not horrible, but I could feel it at first; I thought it was just back pain because she had been kicking so much, but then as time moved on, the pain slowly but indeed made its presence even more substantial and around 12 20 PM, I said to my friend “something is up,” and he kinda listened to my voice. He said, “Maybe keep an eye on things for now,” so we did, and we talked, the more intense my back pain started to get.

Suddenly, this massive wave of dull pain set in kind of like all over my body. All I could say was my friend's name, which I said in a very “I think something has started “voice.

All he said was, “Yes.” And we both knew this would be happening sooner rather than later.

I did my breathing exercises, and we just kept talking. He was watching something in his real life, and I was lying on my bed in my second life, so yes, he was not in my second life, but he was still with me on discord, supporting me through my pain when I needed it and just talking with me.

It was still very early, so I wanted the contractions or whatever they would go away. But as time passed, I realized that this would not go away. My friend was very attentive and supportive, like a partner should be, and he made me feel the recall and the situation; for him and me, it was expected to proceed with everything on voice. I know that may sound weird to people, but to me, it's a way to connect and experience something like this. I knew that giving birth in my second life was always going to be something very personal to me and that I would need someone that could be with me at the moment and not feel weird about it. I can tell you this: if the words “perfect partner” had a face and personality, it would be him. He was with me for about 7 hours, never leaving my side. When he needed to go to bed, he said, “If anything changes, call me, write to me, keep me in the loop” about three times to reassure me that he wanted to be a part of this experience 100%.

We kept talking for a little bit until he finally passed out.

I stayed up a little bit, bouncing on my birthing ball. I looked out of my window, and it suddenly hit me that so many people have invested in this pregnancy, but I have had to let them go by myself. I don't have anybody else but him.

There were times during my labor and delivery when I had tears streaming down my face because it was so real for me. This goes back to something I always say: second life is real to me. I don't put on an act; I don't play a character; I am just being me. My friend knows this about me, so there has never been a question or anything like that about how he would approach this because he approaches things as if they were real. After all, to us, it is real. Maybe not everything he does on his end of things is real for him. Still, he would never throw it in my face.

After a little bit more bouncing on my birthing ball, I needed to go to the bathroom, and of course, when I was on the toilet, I got a contraction from hell, so I sat on this toilet for about 10 minutes straight trying to figure out how I could get myself off of this toilet I tried to move. However, in the end, I decided to remain still until the contraction was over, and I was able to go to bed and “lay down with him.”

(it is now the 14th )

After a few hours of sleep while trying to sleep, at least He woke up straight away and asked me how I was doing and if anything had changed. I told him that I tried not to wake him up because I knew he would need his sleep. He said,” Babe, I told you you could wake me up if you needed me. It's okay.” Once again, he made my heart melt. We texted a little bit before we decided to do a call. I got back on the birthing ball; I was about 4cm dilated and still kind of in denial, haha.

Once again, my friend knew exactly what I needed from him without having to ask him for it, and that just goes to show how deep of a connection you can have with the person if you just let yourself have it and be in the moment. The contractions got stronger and stronger, and then suddenly, we were at the point of no return because my water broke. I looked at my friend, and he looked at me, and I said,” Hope to God that was Pee and not my water breaking.” I could hear his smile and slightly smirk when he said,” Well, the only thing to figure that out is to smell it.”

As I softly laughed, I looked at him with a “Are you serious?” face.

I bent down, and sure enough, it was not P. It was Water. I looked at him and said that does not pee; it's water. He looked back at me and said,” Well, that means it's gone time.”

And go time it was; I had been in labor for a total of 10 hours, maybe more, when my water broke. My contractions were massive, and my friend started to time them so that we would know when it was time to move me over to the birthing pool. The whole time, he was very attentive and very romantic. Let me repeat this in case you haven't understood this yet: we were On Voice the entire time, from start to finish. I think I had about six or seven contractions on my birthing ball before I finally told my friend it was time for the pool. We didn't time every contraction, but the last one I had on my birthing ball was about 3 3 minutes apart, and they left it about 2 minutes. My friend helped me get into the pool and positioned himself so that I could hang from around his neck, facing him.

By this point, I was in a lot of pain, and again, I had a few tears go down my face because it was so realistic for me. I tried to control that part of myself, though, because I did not want him to know that I was getting emotional about it, although I don't think he would have minded if I had told him that I was crying.

My friend checked my dilation after about 3 contractions and said, “When you have the next contraction, go ahead and push.” When I heard him say that, I felt very calm and ready to do what my body needed.

Although I knew that this was what my body needed to do, I was in a lot of pain, and I screamed, I hyperventilated, I cried, and my friend was just in the moment with me the whole time; he was telling me” it's OK oh here it's OK you can do this,” and even when I said haf screaming “I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this” he said “yes you can you can I promise you”

I think I had about or pushes and Sofia bus in my arms. My friend and I just sat there, and I told him thank you, and he said,” You did it.” you did it,” “Of course you're welcome.”

As things calmed down, we talked about other stuff as I was holding my daughter, and after a little bit, my friend had to take care of some stuff in his real life, and now, I'm sitting here blogging to you with my daughter on my breastfeeding pillow feeling like I have just turned a new page in this book called second life.

/Tessa