Life

 Hi, everybody. I hope you all are doing great.

I'm doing OK, thanks for asking.

So today marks a special kind of day. It marks 30 days with no contact. If you need to know what I'm discussing, refer to my previous blog post. It seems surreal to me, but it also feels like I've come to this point where I understand that I gave it my absolute all, everything I had, and in the end, I couldn't do it anymore.

I broke no contact for like 5 seconds because even though he had put me through hell, I still wanted to wish the motherfucker happy birthday. Can you believe that?

Don't worry. As soon as I sent the text, I immediately blocked him.

 

How is life for me now? It's different, very different. It's even different from before I met him. I initially struggled with not thinking of or missing him, but one night, I was back scrolling through Primfeed, Thinking about everything and anything.

Suddenly, this popped into my head

”Take them back!
No, seriously. Take them back until you get tired of taking them back; then, it won't be so hard to let them go.”

The moment I said the words out loud to myself, it was like a light switch. Something lifted off of me, and my mindset changed completely.

I have enjoyed exploring different avenues, even new things for my body. It has been a liberating time for me.

I regret not standing my ground regarding him because everything is different for me now. I still don't know how to deal with those emotions, but subconsciously, I am dealing with them because I feel better and better each day.

Going through this big change in my second life sparked something within me that made me want to change my life as a whole. In my first life, I'm making this really big lifestyle change, and these changes are for life.

I decided to build myself back up, I guess you could say, shedding the “old me,” the one he destroyed. Like a lioness standing up from her greatest battle in life, realizing that she's bloodied and bruised, yes, but she can still move on, she is still breathing.

Because that's what I do, I've been raised to do so: You take the punches, you take the words, you take the heartache, you take the fight. You may fall, but stand back up, even if it takes years or months.

And that's what I'm doing.

I'm not a fragile little Princess, Even though I want to be treated like one. I'm a warrior and will stand back up until I can't stand back up anymore.

I'm learning so much about myself through this process—stuff that I can't believe I can put into words yet—but one thing is for sure: If people don't give me what I try to give them in abundance, the moment I finally let you go, you become nothing to me.

I no longer have the time or energy to nurture and care for people who just don't care.

Why should I care about people or their feelings when they don't care about me?

I understand that people have their own lives—we all do—but it takes 5 seconds to put a smile on somebody's face and to change somebody's day. You may be the person saving their life, but you don't know it.

5 seconds.

I understand that this time in my life, especially when it comes to second life, will be very rocky and very lonely, but it will get better after that.

As I said a little bit ago, I have been experimenting with some exciting new information regarding second life. For example, after 14 years, I finally have a mesh pussy.

It makes me laugh when I think about it because it makes me feel like I'm a virgin again. I've also bought this cum system called” it's not mine” It makes it so when and if someone were to, cum on you, and they have the same system , you could walk around with their cum on your body for hours, even days.

When I first tried it, I felt so NASTY and so SLUTTY in a good way.

I had to go into the support group of the system to get help. To my surprise, a long-time fan and follower popped into the chat, and she took the time out of her day to help me feel not so weird about things. we were talking about pussy And Dick and cum. It was fun to do so.

We decided to become friends, and she told me that she had to get ready for one of her DJ sets and invited me to come and listen to her music. Mind you, it has probably been five or six years since I've stepped foot into a club in Second Life, but I was feeling very into myself and very sexy, so I decided to dress up in the skimpiest outfit that I could find and go out dancing and listening to my now-friend.

It was good music! They were doing movie soundtracks, so it was very enjoyable. I have not been to a club for so many years because I'm not really into the techno and alternative music that every DJ is pumping out.

Through this journey, I have also found that I do my “processing” every time I put on a movie, so I have watched quite a lot of movies in these 30 days. I have been going over to my primed, Posting a photo with tonight's movie and the main character and all of that, and then after I have watched that movie, I give mini-reviews.

PRIMFEED Is One of the best social media tools I have ever seen for my second life. I was really against going over to that platform. I have been on Flickr for so long, but boy, am I glad I made the move; it is so freaking good, and it's not complicated to use whatsoever; it is so easy to use that it makes it just a lot of fun to post pictures to talk to people to interact so much better than Flickr.

So, I am still trying to figure out what to do with Flickr. I'm not seeing a lot of engagement, views, or anything, so I think I'm going to pay for my Flickr subscription for about two months more, and then I will just close my Flickr account and be strictly on Primfeed. Its that good! The selling point for me is that you can pay for your pro subscription with Lindens!!!!

I have posted more content on PRIMFEED than I have on Flickr. That alone should tell you a lot.

 

My Erotic content?

It's coming back, don't worry. I have revamped a little bit of my website for that blog; I want to make a few more tweaks and fixes, and the content should be flowing kind of semi-regularly at least because I really feel inspired at the moment. One of my keys for writing is that I don't write anything unless I feel inspired to do so, so that's why my erotic content tends to be really far or really close together.

So please stay tuned for more.

If you have made it this far, thank you! From the bottom of my heart!

/Tessa