second life is so foreign to me Now.

 Hi everyone, it's me, Tessa. I hope everyone is doing well this evening. Sorry for not updating again, but real life has kind of taken priority, but today I felt like I needed to braindump about what's going on in second life for me. After all, this is primarily a second-life blog, but as you all know, I blend the two lives like no other.

If you have read my previous blog post, you all know that I finally got divorced in second life about, I would say, a month ago or maybe a month and a half. I don't really know, and that is something I don't dwell upon, really.

But I have had these weird feelings ever since I got the divorce. It feels like second life is so foreign to me at the moment. I'm meeting people left-right, but they all have this weird reaction to the fact that I have a real-life husband. Don't get me wrong, I've dealt with that comment in the past, and I have found myself explaining why my real-life husband is OK with the fact that I am in second life and I have sexual relations with people.

I was hanging out with somebody today, and I was pretty happy with the way things were progressing between the person and me. We started talking more about sexual things, and the person was like, "oh, is that your husband in real life?" I responded by yes, it is. and the person just said," Oh, OK, cool, but I wouldn't want to mess around with somebody else's wife regardless if he is OK with it or not."

I just said there dumbfounded because it's second life sure, I know about plenty of marriage is going wrong because of second life but let's be honest if a marriage breaks apart, do too one or the other meeting somebody in second life the person has probably felt like they wanted out a long time before second life came around.

When it comes to me and second life, I feel like I am just walking on eggshells for some reason, as if second life was something new to me. I don't know why I have this feeling, and I don't know if it ever will go away or ever be the same again the way I looked at taking a life before.

Let me just get something out of the way before I continue being a wheelchair user in second life has not changed end it will never change I am just waiting for my new wheelchair to be done and for the new wheelchair to be distributed across second life.

In all honesty, my personality has done a complete 180 from the way it was before I got together with the man who would later become my second life husband and also my second partner in real life. Before I met him, I was really flirty, I was really outgoing, I made people laugh, made people happy, I was really sexual, I was going out places in second life and all of that. Still, it's like I don't feel comfortable going out in second life be talkative in second life, or being flirty with somebody. I am still wanting to be sexual, and that's something that will never ever change. Still, it's like I'm second life, virgin trading on new territory.

I didn't realize how much of a personality change he did on me. I don't know what's going on; I just know it feels fucking Strange.

This might come across in the wrong way, but I don't really care. But I want to feel wanted attractive sought after. It shouldn't come down to whether I have a real-life husband or not. This is virtual reality, and whether I have a real-life husband or not should not even enter your mind.

There's even a segment of my husband in my picks explaining how he sees second life and so much more that should be enough for anyone.

I have so many decisions to make these coming days my brain is just exploding. I just hope that my feelings regarding second life and everything I've written about get better.

♥Tessa♥