My Mission♥

 Hi everyone, I hope all is well, and if it's not, please feel better soon.

Today it is exactly 58 days since I decided to become a wheelchair user in second life.

In those 58 days, I have grown so much as a person. I hold my head high, and I even talk differently because I have a mission.

Mission: To make the second life virtual reality platform be the first platform to have the ability and resources. If a person wants to be a wheelchair user or "showcase " their rl disability, they can without feeling like an oddity.

Right now, the way I see it is that being able to "showcase" your disability in second life it is kind of frowned on because, in second life, anything other than "perfect" is odd. Much like the real, but instead of avatars and pixels being photoshopped, it's humans.

WAKE UP!!!

There is no such thing as perfect! YOU have to make YOUR version of perfect

God didn't create us to be the same!

It's called Individuality.

I have met some truly amazing people that I have partnered up with to make the small steps towards Disability being an ability in second life.

If you want something to happen, be the start!

This is truly my biggest passion, and I won't stop until many people worldwide have heard my voice because I am the voice for those who don't have one.

In 58 days, I have seen changes altho small, but they are there.

I cant wait to see what's to come.

"If it makes you happy, 

it doesn't have to make sense to anyone else."

table, flowers, and mirror 

THS - DEMI-LUNE ACCENT TABLE SET - MAHOGANY M/C

Letterboard

floorplan. leaning letterboard / happy

/Tessa

 

😱the reasons why I do this😱 part 1

 

Before I continue on with part 3 of how my disability effects my body I just felt the need to start a little mini-series called “the reasons why I do this” other peoples names except for mine, has been replaced by “person.”

In my "♥ Disability and sex. ♥" post (click text if you want to read)

I said that second life is closer to real-life then people want to admit

 

If you follow along with this series, you will understand why I choose to be a wheelchair user in second life

It is actually scary to see and hear how uneducated people are when it comes to disability, and in some cases, common sense seems to fly out the window.

 

I love when people ask me questions about my disability because that means that I can change a person's mind and educate people.

I rarely get offended or mad when a person asks me questions, but I have to admit some questions just has my mind blown.

I am not making fun of the people you will see the text from; I am just making you see what I deal with regularly in second life, and real-life do too lack educational information about disability.

without further ado:

"2021/05/24 12:20]  Person: hey

[2021/05/24 12:20]  Tessa Blackwood: hi there

[2021/05/24 12:20]  Person: am lookin for new experience

[2021/05/24 12:21]  Person: i never fucked a girl in chair

[2021/05/24 12:23]  Tessa Blackwood: I am pretty sure most of the people in second life never have

[2021/05/24 12:24]  Person: do u like black men?

[2021/05/24 12:25]  Tessa Blackwood: color has nothing to do with it

[2021/05/24 12:25]  Person: just asking

[2021/05/24 12:25]  Person: somes don t like

[2021/05/24 12:25]  Tessa Blackwood: I love men, yes

[2021/05/24 12:26]  Person: question?

[2021/05/24 12:26]  Tessa Blackwood: yes

[2021/05/24 12:26] Person: don t get upset or mad

[2021/05/24 12:26]  Person: I just wanna know

[2021/05/24 12:26]  Tessa Blackwood: ok

[2021/05/24 12:26]  Person: all your holes works?

[2021/05/24 12:26]  Tessa Blackwood: Yes

[2021/05/24 12:26]  Person: yay

[2021/05/24 12:26]  Person: muah"

♿How my Disability affects my body♿ Part2

 

Please navigate to the first part of this blog post before continuing to this one.

I am not really sure how my mom found out about the nurse I just know that her mistake caused my brain injury.

After months in hospital, my mom was finally able to bring me home, but I was still very tiny, so tiny in fact that my mom had to go to a toy store to buy me clothing and I needed oxygen,

When I was about one year old, my mom started to notice that I couldn't sit up or crawl or walk on my own at first. She didn't think that much of it because she just taught me I was slow in development, but as time went on, my mom started to go back to my doctors about her concerns for me.

At first, do doctors tell my mom I had epilepsy, and I was heavily medicated for about five months, but my mom had her doubts, so she wasn't satisfied with the diagnosis, so she went back for a second opinion.

After countless hours of hospital appointments for cat scans and whatever else you can think of, they finally concluded that I had cerebral palsy And that it was most likely caused by a lack of oxygen to the brain.

As you can imagine, this came as a total shock to my mom. She has explained to me that it felt like the “ice bucket challenge.”

my mom Did the next logical step and asked the doctor how is severe my disability would be; she wishes that he never asked that question today.

What the doctor told my mom was a complete nightmare. she told her that I will most likely be a vegetable for the rest of my life and I would not be able to eat, talk or breathe on my own.

Here I am, 31 years later, talking, breathing, and eating.

This is why my mom regrets asking the doctor that question because she realizes now that the doctors can see into the future. They can't predict anything because everybody is different.

there are five different types of cerebral palsy

spastic
ataxic
athetoid
hypotonic
and mixed type cerebral palsy.

What I have is called spastic diplegia CP. (CP = cerebral palsy)

Affects the legs and arms, making them stiff and contracted (spastic). The legs are generally more affected than the arms.

As I have said earlier in this post, everybody is different so my legs are not contracted and stiff.

The way I like to describe my condition to other people is:

The signals that go from your brain to your legs telling them to move those signals don't work for me. Therefore, I can't walk, but I can feel everything, and I can move my legs to a certain extent.

My speech works fine, My hands are a little bent, but the main thing Is my legs.

I could actually walk until I was seven years old. I walked with aid, and I was walking like a ballerina on my tippy toes. One doctor decided that that would be bad for me in the long run, so I underwent an operation to extend my Achilles tendons to use my whole foot instead of my toes.

That operation went horribly wrong because, after the operation, he told my mom that he “forgot to.”

pull my left leg out to the same length as my right leg. From that moment on, I never walked again.

To be continued...

/Tessa Blackwood

♿How my Disability affects my body♿

 I want to start off by saying a huge thank you for the overwhelming support I have received from my last blog post. To be honest, I was speechless, and often times I had tears in my eyes because I just didn't expect the love and support that came flooding my way. THANK YOU!♥

Since posting my last blog post, I have gotten many questions about exactly how my disability affects me and my body, so I thought, why not make a blog post about it.

One widespread misconception people have is that you must be paralyzed when you are disabled and a wheelchair user. No, no, and NO!

There are literally millions of different disabilities, and different disabilities take a different form in everybody.

First a little information about pregnancies, now bere with me this is important.

A normal healthy pregnancy usually lasts between 38 to 40 weeks, sometimes 41 weeks. 

I was born at 27 weeks, and I weighed in at 2.2 lbs and just 24 cm long (9.4 inches).

It's hard to find good photos where I can actually show you how small I was without having to show you a photo of a real baby that size, but hopefully, you will kinda see.

This is a 27-week belly and baby.
.

This is a 39-week belly and baby. This is usually when the baby decides to come out♥ , and it is safe to do so.

This is me trying to explain as simply as I can so that everybody can understand.

So at 27 weeks, I was quick to enter the world and concur with it!

There was just one problem, my lungs had not formed. I could not breathe on my own.
so the doctors placed me in an incubator 

It looks like this, and it basically is designed to mimic the environment a baby would have if it was still in the belly.



I was also placed under ultraviolet lights because most premature babies are born with jaundice, which basically means yellow tinting of the skin.

I am not really sure what ultraviolet light is supposed to do because I am not trained in the medical profession, even though I might seem to be.

Being born sober premature, my lungs were basically nonexistent. I could not keep my body temperature by myself, so the incubator was warmed up, and I was wrapped in blankets. The incubator was basically my home until my original due date.



My mom actually told me I looked like the world's tiniest burrito.

To my surprise, there was never really a question of whether I would survive or not.

The question was more about my body tolerating the number of heavy medications they would have to put me on.

The doctors had a very positive outlook and told my mom that I most likely would not have any form of disability; what happened next was the moment that would. changed my life forever

I guess it was a normal day at the intensive care unit a lot of people running around a lot of new parents visiting their critically ill babies.

One nurse would make a mistake that would haunt her for the rest of her life.



Remember, my lungs were already trying to keep me alive even though I shouldn't be. She made the mistake of turning down my oxygen when she thought she was turning it up.

I became oxygen-deprived, which ultimately caused my brain injury, a brain injury, that would be discovered two years later.

To be continued...

/Tessa

♥ Disability and sex ♥

 

Disclaimer!!!! 

I don't see a line between second life and real life. I blend the 2 like tie-dye.

That's why I can write the blog the way I do

In the past few days, I have encountered people that have solidified exactly why I need to bring disability awareness to the forefront of second life.

And, of course, I'm not taking all the credit myself. I could have never done this without my best friend and sister CC. This past month has really been an eye-opening experience for me. I knew there would be many Misconceptions about People with different disabilities because I have held lectures for students all over the country about how it is to live with a disability ever since I was 14 years old. I am now 31.

So I knew what I was getting myself into and what I possible could face.

Now I want to point out that me being a wheelchair user in second life is not a Social experiment, nor is it a joke. I am not doing this to prove a point either.


I am doing this for myself. I am putting myself out there to be more confident, to boost my self-esteem to not look at my body as If I am damaged. To not look at me as less of a woman.

The moment I started using my wheelchair in second life, something shifted. It was like I became something other people were and are afraid to touch, and if they did, they would talk and handle me as if I was going to break or that they were going to say something that would offend me.

as if it would be ok to say to a woman that has a fully functioning body, "Hey, can I use your face to cum on?" or "I want to gangbang your body!"

Apparently, it is okay for that woman to get offended and mistreated, but it's a different story when you're in a wheelchair.

Why?

The only 2 reasons that are separating me from that woman is

She CAN walk.

I CAN'T.

She HAS full movement in her body.

I DON'T.

If you Exclude the fact that I am in the wheelchair, what am I then?

 

I am just like her.

People seem to have this weird misconception that people with different disabilities cannot have sex or is not sexually active, and when people find out that that is so far from the truth, they don't seem to believe it. to be 100% honest, there are a lot of people with disabilities that aren't sexually active, but I believe that a big part of the reason why they aren't is that first and for most, they have not found the right one but a very close second is the fact that people still have it in their head that people with disabilities can't have sex, they don't need it, or worst of all, people with disabilities should not have relationships, be married or "god forbid!" have a sex life

I am afraid to say this, but I have come to find out that these terrible misconceptions exist in second life.

I have them being a person that has seen my disability as a reason to not put myself out there when it comes to my sexuality and finding out what I like and what I don't like. On my 18th birthday, the first thing I did was sign up on a website where you could meet people, go on dates, and just have sex.

I didn't go on many dates because the guys usually backed out last minute.

But mostly, I waited for the right one.

I had my sexual depute when I was 19 years old and was in a long-term relationship with my very first boyfriend.

I feel very blessed in a way because, as I have previously stated, most people with disabilities will never ever have a sexual depute. It feels so weird to say, but it is the truth.

How does this tie into second life?

Because second life is closer to real-life than people might think or want to admit.

Second life before my wheelchair does not even begin to compare to the way it is now. In a way, I really enjoy it, but in a way, I think it is sad as well.

It is sad to see how a wheelchair can desexualize me in the way that it has. It is sad to see how a wheelchair suddenly makes me unattractive.

For myself, I have always looked at sex as a natural thing to have, and I have always been a very sexual person.

So sex has never really "scared me." or been something that I have shied away from just because of my disability.

When it comes to sex, I see my disability as something fun. Let's say that your guy comes home from work, and he just wants to take you right then and there. He can just lock the wheelchair, pull your legs so that you are Slouching. Go down on his knees and eat you out.

or suddenly lift you up, throw you over his shoulder and say "we are going to bed," then spank you

or why not him coming up behind you, kiss and nibble on your neck while he pushes the wheelchair with his legs, holding you around your waist, and whisper, "Mmmm, I am going to have my way with you."

There are so much you can do and enjoy even if you have a disability

. You can use belts, ropes even silk ties! Your guy could tie a belt around your waist and help you ride him if you don't have the use of your legs.

Personally, I do love it when the guy helps me into different positions. It makes me feel sexy because I know that it is a position that he loves witch makes me even more aroused.

He might be kissing my neck as he gets my legs around him or on his shoulders. That way, you take the awkwardness out of it, I feel.

I might have a sexy rope outfit on *Points to the top of the page*

which he can use to pull me into different positions or different directions.

Just because you might have a disability does not mean you CAN'T do what everyone else does. You just have to do it differently. You have to do YOU.

/Tessa

The Fight ♥ Erotica♥

Before this blog post starts off, I want to clarify that every erotic story on my blog is a pure fantasy unless I say otherwise. Thank you! 

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Tessa! Baby! Baby stop, can you please slow down and let me explain? I yell back, "Explain what?! How you took me to this party, and yet you text one of your other partners! by the way? Who the fuck is she?"

He keeps running after me. "Baby, please!? He catches up to me, putting his arms around my waist, panting," please please listen, listen" I fight my way out of his arms, Yelling, " No, Let me go!" Tears running down my face, I get the door open to one of the bedrooms he runs after me inside.

I pace back and forth, crying. "It's ok for you to have other partners, but I am your wife. At least that's what you tell me."

He puts his hand's in his hair, closing his eyes, realizing that I have seen the text in its entirety.

"Baby? Tessa? Please?" he walks closer to me. I turn so I look out the window. Once again, I feel his arms go around my waist. I almost yell to him, "Don't touch me!"

He turns us around so that I am facing the bed. I try to get out of his arms as we fall on the bed, him on top of my back growling and whispering into my ear, "Calm the fuck!...Down..." I cry out, "No, get off me, you asshole! Fuck you!"

I manage to kick my way out, but he grabs me, kissing my neck, whispering, "for fuck sake, baby, stop fighting me!"

He flips onto his back so that I am on top of him but on my back. He lays on his side as I fight him still but a little less. He whispers in my ear, "stop, baby, stop, no stop. He puts his hand over my mouth, kissing my neck, growling, "I love you, listen, I love you, do you hear me? I love you."

I still fight him as he kisses my face putting his leg over one of mine; spreading my legs, he whispers, " There are no other women I choose to come home to; I always come home to you. You are my wife. He pauses a little " You can fight me all you want, but I'm not letting you go. You are my wife."

I feel his other hand go down my stomach, down between my legs. He continues the whisper, "You are so perfect, your body is so perfectly sculpted to be in my arms; I love you, baby. he kisses my face softly and continues." Who I play with does not matter; I cut him of trying to speak through his hand. He looks into my eyes, speaking softly as he growls, "No, it doesn't...Matter."

"because you are the one I see, you are the one I desire, you are the one making my cock so damn hard it hurts! It's you! not them."

He starts to move his hand in between my legs in circles, slowly at first but then faster and faster. He whispers, "calm down, relax. Good girl, I will make love to you because I love you with every fiber of my being."

by this point, he has me melting into his arms. My safe place, my home. As much as I want to be blood boiling mad at him, I just can't. I softly moan into his hand. His eyes have never left mine.

He removes his hand slowly, and we start to kiss. He rubs his hands between my legs just for a bit longer before he moves his hand up to grab and caress my breasts; at the same time, he slides his body up on top of me. He kisses my breasts but pauses shortly, whispering I love your breasts, not giving me time to respond. He starts to kiss my breasts again.

He pulls both of us up in the bed a little as I grab around the back of his neck. we kiss, he kisses my neck, down between my breasts, slowly over my belly, he whispers "god, you are so perfect, so

 beautiful."

I blush with every word he is whispering. My eyes following everything he is doing, our eyes connect, and we both smile.

He kisses across my panty line. I moan and softly roll my hips. His breathing quickens. His breathing is warmer on my skin.

He looks up at me when he hooks his fingers on the sides of my panties, kissing as he pulls them down.

Our eyes locked. I moan as he kisses my clit very softly before pulling away, speaking with arousal in his voice.

" Huston! we have landed," he growls. "Now give me that!"

I laugh and moan loudly as he starts to "attack" my clit and pussy softly but with a speed that's even new to me after all of these years. 

My whole body reacts by pushing up. I gasp and moan. He looks up at me, growling, "fuck yes, I am going to eat this pussy until you fucking can't take it anymore." he pauses with his mouth and smacks my pussy with his hand over and over at a very fast speed.

I pull my knees up as much as I can on my own, the back of my head drags on the bed almost till the point where I cant flex it anymore. my mouth is wide open, and so Is my eyes I am lying on my back almost in disbelief of how good it feels

He sees me wanting to pull my legs up. He softly whispers, "I got it, baby," and puts my legs on his shoulders.

My body tries to turn me on my side as he starts to lick my pussy again, but he keeps up the same speed and just moves with my body. I turn my head into the pillows and scream in pleasure. My hands grabbing onto his. he moans into my pussy "yeah, there is my girl! Yeah, I can feel you shaking. You are so sexy."

I twist and turn, screaming louder and louder into the pillows

"BAAAAABYYYYY BABYYYYY BABY IM CUMMING!!!!"

Just before my orgasm takes over, he quickly moves up onto his knees beside me, holds his forehead to mine, and pants, "trust me?"

I nod, moaning, and before I know it, his fingers are hitting my g-spot furiously. All I can do is a look of total shock on my face as he keeps looking into my eyes. His other hand lovingly grabs a chunk of my hair and pulls it back.

As my body starts to bend upwards, he says, "Yes, baby! Yes, yes, yes, just like that! Yes, go for it, baby, go! god, I love you!"

He kisses me hard and deep as I start to squirt, we both start to hear the sound of splashing water I grab around the back of his neck, and I try to tell him, "I am peeing myself am peeing" with his fingers still pounding my pussy he moans and gasps into my ear "no your not, your squirting baby."

We kiss hard as I scream my orgasm into his mouth. The orgasm is so strong that tears are starting to show on my face. 

He pulls his fingers out and spanks my soaked pussy, growling, "good girl."

the bed sheets are soaked. He takes his hand in the wetness of the sheets and rubs it on my belly and breasts as we kiss.

My breathing I so hard that he whispers to me, "calm down, baby, calm down."

My head is still spinning, and I almost feel drunk. He kisses my neck and strokes my arm.

I hold my forehead against his as he tries to smoothly grab the duvet behind his back without breaking eye contact with me.

He pulls it over us, and at the same time, he smoothly spreads my legs as he lays on top of me.

We softly kiss, and his hands stroke the sides of my face.

He breaks the kiss, but his lips are almost touching mine. He softly talks while stroking my face, "Have I told you lately that I love you? have I told you lately that there is no one else above you?"

he continues 

"you fill my heart with gladness. You take away all my sadness. You ease my troubles. That's what you do."

I stroke my hand through his hair down to his arms, listening, tears of joy rolling down my face.

he leans his forehead to mine and whispers

"You know I love you. There will never be anyone above you, baby."

we kiss, and I whisper back 

"I love you too with all of my fucking heart; why do you think I get so mad?"

We kiss again. He slowly gets up onto his arms as we continue to kiss.

Slowly. Slowly he pushes inside me, looking into my eyes.

I moan softly as he lowers himself again. I wrap my arms around his neck as he starts to go back and forth with his hips.

We kiss and moan as his hips pick up speed. He grabs my hands and holds them with his above my head.

I whimper and moan loudly in pleasure. I gasp, looking into his eyes. "Baby! Oh my god!"

Our hands kind of fight with each other the more speed he picks up.

We kiss and breathe faster and faster. We lean in the forehead to forehead, gasping, looking into each other's eyes with panic almost.

I moan and gasp over and over again.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, baby!"

He lets go of my hands and cups my face moaning loud, "I love you too, baby! I love you so much!"

We kiss hard as I hold on to his hands that are on my face screaming close to his mouth.

"am cumming! Am cumming! I am cumming!! Baby, please! AAhhaaa god!"

He growls 

"God, yes, your so fucking beautiful when you cum! cum for me, baby!"

"God, let me cum in your beautiful pussy, baby, please! please! God yes!"

We kiss as we both start to orgasm.

My whole body stiffens for what feels like an eternity before I violently start to shake in his arms.

We both scream as loud as we can as the orgasms flood our bodies.

He pounds into me very hard over and over as we look into each other's eyes.

We gasp for breath as we both slow down, kissing, touching breathing.

He eases out of me and moves to lay behind me, pulling the duvet up over us some more.

he pulls me into his arms whispering

" Come here, you sexy little thing."

I smile and get closer as he pulls me in. He kisses my neck whispering

"Don't ever think you are replaceable because your not... your not, baby."

I turn my head to him, we kiss soft and slow then I stroke his arm, falling asleep in his safety.

/Tessa