People Need to Get a Grip on Themselves

 I spent the majority of the day today in my inventory, trying to organize things, which is a whole project by itself in Second Life. After that, I went to this new beach I found called Tiddy Beach, just to exist somewhere for a while. I was there, scrolling through Primfeed, and I started noticing how many couples there are openly devoting themselves to each other.

And I do not mind people being happy. I really do not. But I also think a lot of people in Second Life need to get a grip on themselves.

Because most of the time, what happens in Second Life stays in Second Life. For most people, it is fantasy. It is a place where they can be someone else, feel something else, look different, act different, and build something that may or may not have anything to do with their real life. That does not automatically make it fake, but it does mean people should probably be a little more honest with themselves about what they are actually doing.

Devotion is not a small word.

At least not to me.

To be truly devoted to somebody, you would have to be there in a way that goes far beyond posting cute pictures, wearing matching names, having a wedding, and writing dramatic captions. Real devotion means you trust that person more than you trust yourself. It means you choose them when things are boring, difficult, inconvenient, ugly, uncomfortable, and not picture-perfect. It means you show up in the everyday, not just in the fantasy.

So when I see couples in Second Life getting married and publicly declaring all of this deep, eternal devotion, part of me just sits there thinking, okay. Give it a week.

Because so often, one week later they are heading for divorce because something did not work out in Second Life. Or two months later, three months later, that person is no longer anywhere in their life. The profile changes. The pictures disappear. The name is removed. The grand devotion quietly turns into nothing.

And then everyone moves on like it was just another outfit change.

That is why it feels performative to me sometimes. Like, “Look at me. Look what I managed to do with my Second Life. Look how loved I am. Look how chosen I am.” But if it disappears the second things stop being easy, then was it really devotion?

No.

Devotion is not devotion just because you called it that.

To me, my Second Life is not a fantasy. My Second Life is my life, just on another platform. I do not pretend. I do not fake. I do not try to seem like someone I am not. I show up as myself, with my real thoughts, my real boundaries, my real body, my real way of seeing things.

And I have noticed that a lot of people cannot handle that.

Or they just think I am weird.

And that is okay. Go ahead and think I am weird. Go ahead and think whatever you want to think about me. I do not chase other people’s opinions on how I should live my life. I am not here to make my Second Life easier for other people to understand.

But it is so obvious sometimes when something is fake. Painfully obvious.

Some of these pictures are presented like deep love, deep devotion, deep connection, and then when you actually ask someone about it, it is suddenly, “Oh, that is my alt.”

I mean, come on.

There is roleplay, and then there is whatever that is.

I have three people on my friends list. Yes, three. I do not have a crowd around me. I do not have a giant circle. I do not collect people just so my Second Life looks fuller from the outside. And yes, I have thought about creating a bot account just to have somebody with me sometimes, because I know what it is like to be alone in Second Life.

But creating couple pictures, romantic devotion posts, intimate scenes, and then finding out the other person is just your alt is more than weird to me.

Because at that point, what are we even doing?

You are not showing devotion. You are not showing a relationship. You are not showing love. You are staging a performance with yourself and then presenting it like proof that someone chose you.

And in some of those pictures, let us be honest, you are basically having sex with yourself.

That is not devotion.

That is not connection.

That is not a love story.

That is a mirror with better lighting.

I am devoted to my real-life husband because he is the one person who knows me better than anyone. He probably knows me better than I know myself, to be honest. And yes, we are polyamorous. I can choose to love other people, but they will never take his place, no matter what they do.

Because to me, he is my king.

He is the one person who shows up for me and for our relationship every single day, twenty-four seven. He is actually my full-time caretaker. He is the one who is there in the real, practical, exhausting, unglamorous parts of life. Not just for pretty pictures. Not just when it feels easy. Not just when there is something to gain from being seen.

My husband had to be by my side while my real-life body changed. My appearance changed. Even parts of my personality changed. He had to meet the new me as I was becoming her. He had to understand her, adjust to her, and in some ways fall in love with her too.

And still, he stayed.

He stayed by my side.

He always stays by my side.

And I am the same with him. I would do anything for him. Not because it looks good. Not because it makes a nice picture. Not because there is an audience watching and clapping for us. But because he is my person, and I am his.

I have been with him for fifteen years now.

That is devotion.

Not some Second Life photo.

Because in the end, that photo does not mean anything if there is nothing real behind it.

Devotion is what remains when nobody is watching.